Page 56 of Want You

“Topic for another day.”

They talked for thirty minutes. Kurtis asked him various questions related to the case in question and some general hockey questions. At the end, Kurtis asked if he’d be able to reach out once they got more information and ultimately when the case went to court. Then they agreed that once it was okay to do so, Nathan would give him a full-access, no-holds-barred interview. No one had ever done that before, and he could practically smell Kurtis’ brain realizing what that could mean for his career.

When he got home, he found Octavia standing at the living room window, silhouetted by the fading light, and his heart stopped.

CHAPTER 28

OCTAVIA

She heard him breathe out before she turned around. When she did, she watched as he took off his boots, coat, and toque and then took a few steps toward her, launching into an explanation.

“I didn’t know, not all of it anyway. I didn’t know it was what it was. I only heard things. I should have known. Should have asked questions. Shou—” He stopped abruptly when she held her hand up.

“Have you ever…” She swallowed, looking skyward, her hands fisting and unfisting while she desperately tried to hold it together.

“God, no,” Nathan stuttered, stepping forward and stopping again when she shook her head. “Octavia,” he said calmly. “I have never once done something without getting consent. I have never wanted to.” He stared down at her, his eyes wet now too. “But I should have called out the behaviour from others. Silence is expected, and I was complicit in that. I know I’m part of the problem, Octavia. But I’ve never taken advantage of someone. You have to believe me. And if I’ve ever made you feel like you have to do something or if⁠—”

“You haven’t,” she rushed to say. “I’ve never felt threatened by you. Never felt like you were coercing me. Everything we’ve done I’ve wanted to do.” Still want to do, hanging in the air between them. “Where were you?”

“I had something to take care of. May I?” He gestured between them, walking quickly to her when she nodded. “I’m sorry, Octavia. I’m so fucking sorry for making you doubt me and ultimately doubt yourself.” He took her in his arms and held her tightly as if afraid she’d slip away. “I’m going to fix this,” he promised into her hair.

“I don’t think anyone can fix this, Nathan,” she whispered into his chest. “This isn’t the first time. It won’t be the last.”

Nathan stayed silent but his hold tightened. She wanted him to tell her she was wrong and that this would all work out. Part of her appreciated that he didn’t lie about it, but the other part desperately wanted to believe that he could fix it.

“Can you stay?” Nathan asked, pulling back and moving his hands to cup her face.

Octavia dropped her arms, her hands falling to Nathan’s hips. “I don’t know.”

She was struggling just being here in the first place. Like she was letting down every woman who’d been turned into a victim and ultimately survivor by a fucking predator.

Nathan was gone for a week the next day on a short road trip. Before this, she would have soaked up every minute she could with him before he left, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized a break would be good. She came over to get an answer and she had it now.

“I need to go. I need to think.” She looked up at him as she said it, watching his expression carefully. He looked defeated but didn’t argue with her. Didn’t try to convince her to stay.

“Can I drive you home at least?”

She nodded. “But you’re not coming in.”

He smiled sadly. “I know.”

Octavia didn’t watch Nathan’s next game, or the one after that. She wanted to cheer him on, but seeing the other players and wondering how many of them had done disgusting shit made her sick to her stomach. And if she was being honest with herself, she was still unsure if she could believe what Nathan had told her.

At work she went through the motions, doing her best to drown out the topic of the hour but always seemed to catch the latest bit of gossip.

She sat through meeting after meeting where voices turned into the teacher from Charlie Brown. Random noises from one side of the table or the other.

The weird thing was she started noticing things she’d either never noticed or ignored. The way certain male coworkers leered at others. Looks and laughter at the expense of women in the office.

“Have you read this?” Amanda walked into her office brandishing a newspaper.

“A newspaper?” Octavia asked, leaning back in her chair, smirking. “Not for a few years.”

Amanda rolled her eyes and slapped the paper down on the desk. “No, this article.” She pointed down at where a cryptic image of a hockey player was placed at the top of the page.

Nothing Surprising

Professional hockey player reveals that nothing about the Hockey Seven is surprising and that it was only a matter of time before legal action was taken.