Page 62 of Pretty Thing

I look down, and sure enough, the tiny mug is indeed in the photo.

“You must be really good at those spot the difference games.”

Felix chuckles, and the joyous sound stirs emotions I cannot name. It’s not quite happiness, at least not the same as before, but I smile.

“I’m also killer at finding Waldo.”

I laugh as he sets the mugs down on the coffee table. He looks at the star in my hands, then up at the tree.

“I don’t think you should be standing on anything.” He smirks, and my cheeks heat. “Here, let me do it for you,” he says as he takes the tree topper from my hands.

Being tall must be nice. He doesn’t even need to raise up on his toes.

“Does it look okay there?”

“Yeah…it’s perfect.”

A single tear breaks free, but Felix doesn’t let it fall. He wipes away the droplet and then slowly sucks his thumb into his mouth, his eyes darkening and sending a shiver racing down my spine.

“Talk to me,” he says.

The air between us is charged, making it hard to draw a breath.

“It feels like the world has stopped and I’m living in an alternate universe. It’s as if I’m caught between who I was and who I am now that they’re gone. It hurts to breathe. It hurts to open my eyes and relive the moment when I realize they are gone. I’m stuck in a Groundhog Day loop of horror that I can’t escape, and Felix…I don’t know how to go on without them.”

He cups my cheeks, gazing down at me, and stepping in so close that his chest brushes against mine.

“You need to, Eden. You need to keep moving forward.”

“I don’t know if I can.”

“You can, and you will.”

I try to look away, but he won’t let me. His eyes fill with tears. We are two souls standing in an ocean of grief.

“Listen to me…you need to because I need you, Eden. Being with you makes me whole. I didn’t have a great home life, but when I’m with you…when you look at me…you make me feel like I deserve more. I never want to lose the hope that I’m worthy of someone like you, that I’m worthy of love.”

The pain in his voice silences every negative thought concerning his presence in my life.

“If you let me…I’ll make sure you never fall again. I’ll never leave you, and I’ll always protect you. But I need you to choose me as surely as I need my next breath.”

I close my eyes as he kisses my forehead, clinging to the warmth and the rope that he is dangling in front of my face.

“Say you choose me, Eden. Say it, and I will protect you forever,” Felix whispers against my skin.

His touch is tantalizing, and I sway slightly in his arms. My nerves are fried, but somehow his voice reaches me through the gaping wound in my chest, pulling me back from the icy grip of sadness that threatens to consume me.

“Yes,” I say, laying my hands on his. “Yes, I choose you.”

Maybe this is reckless. Maybe grief is blurring everything. But when Felix touches me, the world finally quiets, and right now, I don’t need to know why that is…I don’t want to know.

All I want is to feel the peace when he is near me.

seventeen

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Eden