Page 17 of Pretty Thing

“It’s okay, you’ve been through a lot, but we’ll face it together.”

He hops out before I can respond and rushes to open my door. Felix helps me, and we stand there staring at one another long enough that heat warms my cheeks.

“This may hurt, but I won’t drop you.” He sweeps me up into his arms despite his air cast.

I wince as my ribs protest but bite my lip and hold it in as he limps toward my front door. If he can carry me on a broken foot, then I can suck up the ache in my side.

“Do you have a key?”

I glance at the clear plastic bag I’m holding. Felix slowly sets me down on my feet as I dig around for a key ring. I slowly shake my head as a wave of grief threatens to consume me.

“No, but my mother always kept the window in the laundry room unlocked. It’s around the side, but I don’t know if you can reach it without a ladder.”

“Leave that to me,” Felix says.

I point to the correct side of the house, and he walks down the stairs and disappears. There is no way he is reaching that window. Fuck, if it’s this difficult just getting into my house, what about…everything else? University? Forget that. I never saved, and there is only enough in my college fund for one year. I need to focus on not losing the house. God, I’ve taken so much for granted.

Covering my mouth, I hold back the tears and quickly pull myself together when the door opens. Felix steps out with a sly smirk.

“Are you part Spiderman?”

“Naw, but I won’t be surprised if a neighbor calls the cops for a break-in,” he teases, picking me up once more.

“You don’t have to carry me.”

“I want to.”

As soon as we step over the threshold, everything comes crashing down. My dad’s glasses are still on the coffee table in the living room where he left them, and my mum’s figurine collection in the cabinet near the television needs a dusting.

The tears rip through me so violently it feels like my soul is trying to escape with them. I can hear them laughing. I can smell fresh-baked apple pie and see ghostly images of them moving around as if they are still here.

My eyes land on the unlit Christmas tree. We were going to have a decorating party when we got home. The one tradition that we kept no matter my age.

Clinging to Felix, I bury my face into the crook of his neck. I don’t notice us walking until we’re in my bedroom.

“How did you know this was mine?”

“Just a good guess,” he says, setting me on the bed and sitting beside me.

My high school graduation photo sits on my desk, mocking me. Me in my gown and my parents smiling wide.

The silence of the room is a noose around my neck. The panic that accompanies the crushing sadness has me gripping at my heart and gasping for breath.

Felix cups my cheeks and forces me to look at him. He exaggerates his breathing to keep me from hyperventilating. It works.

“I’m right here, Eden. I’m not going anywhere. You’re not alone.” He runs his thumbs over my jaw.

“But they’re gone. They’re really gone and never coming back. I can’t do this.”

“You can and you will. I’ll be right here with you. You’re not alone.”

“You’re so strong. How are you so strong when you’ve lost everyone too?”

I sniff and wipe my eyes on the arm of the sweatshirt.

“I’ll always be strong for you, Eden,” he says so quietly I can barely hear it. “You don’t have to survive this alone. We can do it together.”

I nod, wanting to cling to anything solid right now. Felix is the only thing that helps me breathe.