Page 36 of Allegiant

“Can you stay?”

No. I’m not protective. If I were, Adam would still be here.

“You don’t believe me, do you?”

“Why don’t you believe me?”

I scream and rage against the fog that settles in my mind, but it refuses to part. His voice is all around me, pressing the dense depression closer. It’s suffocating. Filling my lungs. Dragging me under.

Just then, a lifeline. A voice piercing the darkness.

“Breathe, Row. Breathe, baby.”

I cling to it with both hands. I do as he says, sucking in oxygen desperately. It hurts, my lungs screaming. But then again, why am I complaining? Adam will never breathe again.

“That’s it. Again. Again.”

I gasp in air, and the fog starts to dissipate.

“Keep going. Follow my voice. You’ve got this.”

I push my head down and take a step forward. I have got this. I can do this.

“You’re not alone.”

I’m not.

Samson is here.

Light pierces the haze, and I blink. Reality rushes back in so fast it’s startling. I’m on the floor. How the fuck did I get down here?

“There you are.” Samson is on his knees in front of me, one hand cupping my face. His other is cupping Nugget, who is whining and trying desperately to get to me. “Fuck, you scared me.”

“What happened?” I rasp. “Why are my legs wet?”

Oh god, did I pee myself? Horizontal relations won’t happen now.

“You dropped your tea when you collapsed.” Now that he’s mentioned it, I can suddenly feel the stinging on my thighs. Wonderful, but also not at all surprising. “I don’t know what happened. One minute you were here, the next you were somewhere else.”

“Ugh,” I groan. I hold out my hands for Nugget, immediately cuddling him to my chest. He licks my neck, reminding us both that I’m here. I’m safe. “I’m sorry. How embarrassing.”

“Has this happened before?”

My throat thickens and prevents me from speaking, so I just nod.

“Many times?”

I nod again.

Samson’s lips thin. A small wrinkle appears between his brows, like he’s trying to figure out a puzzle but can’t quite get the pieces to fit. “Okay, let’s get you up and check how bad the burns are.”

“I’m fine,” I say hastily, smiling to show him just how fine I am. “Honestly, you don’t need to⁠—”

He presses a hand firmly against my mouth, cutting off my protests. “Again, do I look like someone who does anything he doesn’t want to?”

No. He really doesn’t.

He slowly removes his hand. “Just…let me do this. Okay? I don’t like begging. It puts me in a bad mood.”