Page 61 of Virtually Guarded

“You and your wolf cooperate well, then,” Tobias said. “You wouldn’t have faced consequences anyway. Your life was in danger, and I would have found a loophole in the laws. But the fact that you kept your human form even while being assaulted makes it easier. Gregory barely held onto his human form, and from what Dave Walden told me, there were questions. Which he managed to defuse, thank gods.”

“Dave Walden?” The name was vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t place it.

“The City Pack Peacekeeper.” The Anax curved his lips into a thin smile. “Also a Boston police officer. He speaks fluent law enforcement. A good person to have on our side. Otherwise, this could have caused a hell of a lot of problems for us. Worse than when two Boston North wolves kidnapped Michael Damone a while back and Kyle decided to play hero. We got out of that. We barely got out of this, and the only reason we did, aside from Dave’s assistance, is that Davion and Yovanny got Gregory under control and out of the humans’ sight before he shifted.”

I couldn’t tell if he was angry because of the risk or because I’d caused it. I looked down at Xavier’s hand covering mine. “I’m sorry,” I said in a small voice.

“None of this is your fault, Ren,” Xavier said.

“Absolutely none,” Tobias agreed. “I’m not going to ask what you were doing in Revere. If you decide you want to tell me, I’ll hear it, and there will be no consequences. Not from me, not from City Pack even though you were in their territory without the Alpha’s permission or knowledge. You have my word on that. Justin has already agreed.”

“Th—thank you.” I remembered not caring about the fact that I was in another pack’s territory once I crossed the bridge into East Boston. I should have cared. I was the Anax’s wolf, but I still had to follow the rules.

If I hadn’t crossed that bridge without permission, I wouldn’t have been lying here now with a headache the size of frigging Massachusetts. Gregory wouldn’t have found me. I would have been safe.

I whimpered.

“It’s all right.” Tobias patted my shoulder. “Anyway, Connecticut Pack. Enzo was doing his best, but clearly the pack had deeper fractures and issues than he could manage. He hadn’t committed any crimes or offenses worthy of being fully removed, but he clearly can’t lead. I’ve demoted him to fourth in the pack and forbidden him to challenge for rank until further notice. The Beta who contributed to your abuse has been removed permanently.” He didn’t elaborate, but the twist in his mouth when he said “permanently” strongly implied that the Beta had been removed the same way as Gregory.

“The Peacekeeper of the pack retains his rank. He wasn’t involved in any of the issues, as best I can tell,” he continued. “I’m working with Zane Wolfskin to fill the Alpha and Beta ranks with werewolves from other packs who can be trusted and will be able to help repair the pack. We agree that given the situation, and given that others in that pack likely share the opinions of those who harmed you, we can’t trust any of the remaining Connecticut wolves to take over the pack’s leadership.”

“That…that’s a lot.” I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“Connecticut isn’t the worst pack. Enzo wasn’t the worst Alpha.” Tobias sat back and crossed one leg over the other. “Enzo committed some grave errors in how he handled your situation, though, and one of those errors allowed Gregory Malkin to enter City Pack territory, where he found you. Gregory admitted to me that he had planned to come here to find you. I couldn’t allow Enzo to remain in leadership after that oversight.”

“I don’t…” A lump rose in my throat. I seriously didn’t want to cry again, but I might not be able to help it. “Because of me? You did all that because of me?”

“Because no one deserves to be harmed for who they are.” Tobias spoke gently, but intensity underlay the words. “You didn’t deserve any of what you’ve experienced at the hands of members of that pack. Yes, Ren. I did all that because of you and to make sure no one else ever goes through what you did.”

I stared at him, my mouth open. There was more behind his words than just anger about what the Connecticut wolves had done to me.

I couldn’t ask him about it, though, because the tears started again, and all I could do was sob and let out a garbled, “Thank you. Thank you,” as Xavier pulled me into his arms and held me tightly.

I was safe. As long as Xavier held me, I was safe.

The Anax only stayed another minute or two. As he left, he murmured something I didn’t catch. Xavier kept his arms round me, rocking me slightly, until the tears ran dry. Which took a while.

For the rest of the day, Xavier was with me. I didn’t ask why he wasn’t on duty. That was between him, the Anax, and Seth. He left the room only to bring me some food and more water, and the entire time he was gone, he spoke to me through our bond, letting me know I was safe, I would be okay, and he was there.

He didn’t say “forever.” I felt it in his words, though. His actions. He was there, and he would keep being there as long as it took me to believe it. Caring for me, supporting me.

By suppertime, when Dr. Gumendo came back to examine me, the pain had died down. I credited Xavier for that. He’d taken care of me, including carrying me to the toilet a couple more times and making sure I didn’t even try to reach for anything. Plus just having him with me made everything better.

I dozed off and on that night. Every time I woke up, I saw Xavier. As the night wore on, he fell asleep on the floor, and I wanted to invite him to share the bed, but that would have required me to wake him. I didn’t know if he’d had any sleep while I was unconscious. I wanted him to sleep now.

In the morning, I woke up as he grunted his way up off the floor. “That’s going to ache for the day,” he muttered, rubbing his lower back. “Sorry I woke you, Ren.”

“You didn’t.” I touched my tongue to my upper lip. “Maybe you did. The line between sleeping and being awake got a little blurry there. It’s okay, though.”

“I have to be on duty in…” He stretched, grimacing, to pick up his phone from the bureau. “Half an hour. I need a shower before I go. I’ll get Seth to let me bring you some breakfast, but I won’t be able to stay with you today.”

“That’s okay.” I hesitated. “Xavier? What I told you the other day? I need…” I swallowed hard. “You weren’t upset that I ran out like that. But what I told you?”

“I wasn’t upset about that either.” Looking concerned, he lowered himself onto the edge of the bed. “Ren, how could I be? You did what you had to do to survive. You’re here with me because you did what you had to do.” He took my hand. “I wish you hadn’t had to, but I don’t think any differently about you. I love you.”

He said it so easily I took a beat to register the words. My mouth dropped open, and I yanked my hand out of his. “Don’t. Xavier, you can’t.”

“Can’t love you? He tilted his head. “Or can’t say it? I won’t say it again if it upsets you, but I do feel it, Ren. Not only because you’re my mate. Because you’re you.”