Page 44 of Virtually Guarded

Except the Anax and everyone else would be gone, and I’d be alone here. Vulnerable to whoever came along and decided to cause problems. Without my mate.

“There’s a room similar to this at the other house.” Xavier closed the door. “Small. A one-person room, though like this one, the bed is big enough for two. It was Quinn’s room when he worked for the Anax. No one’s used it since he left. The Anax probably wouldn’t mind if you took it.”

“What’s between him and Quinn?” That was none of my business, but it distracted me from worrying. “The Anax acts different with him.”

“He took Quinn in after the kid watched half his pack, including his lover, get massacred by members of another pack.” He sat on the edge of the bed and held out his hands.

Stunned, more by how calmly and bluntly he’d spoken than what he’d said, I just stood there. “That’s horrible!”

Xavier nodded. “I wasn’t working for the Anax yet, so I don’t know the whole story. But one of the wolves responsible for the massacre was the one who changed Quinn. And abused him, along with other members of that pack. Quinn went through hell and beyond, survived the massacre only because his lover was the pack Beta and used compulsion to force Quinn to run away, and then Quinn had the wits to find his lover’s phone and call the Anax while he was still standing in the aftermath.”

“Holy fuck.” I couldn’t imagine. I’d been through my own hell, but nothing like Quinn. And he’d seemed so happy. So much at peace, especially with his mate beside him. “I wouldn’t have known anything so awful happened to him.”

“He gets help.” Xavier grimaced. “I probably shouldn’t be telling you that. But he does. Being with Malachi helps him too. Doesn’t mean he isn’t still dealing with all of that. It still gets to him sometimes. The Anax has stuff that gets to him, too. I think Quinn reminds him of himself in some ways. They were close until Quinn left. Not romantic or anything. More like brothers. There was a…we’ll call it a rift between the two of them for a while, but the Anax is trying to repair it now.”

“And now he has another stray he’s taken in.” I sank onto the bed beside him, still not taking his hands. “Fuck. I’m Quinn’s replacement goldfish.”

“His what?” Xavier scoffed. “You aren’t anyone’s replacement, Ren. The Anax didn’t offer you safety because he’s trying to find another Quinn. He did it because you needed safety, and that’s part of his role as Anax. To protect those who need protecting. Find homes for those who need homes. You chose to come to him, remember?”

“Yeah. Still not totally sure how that happened.” The Alpha had mentioned the Anax when he was explaining werewolf shit to me, and the assfucks who’d beaten me had said the Anax would want me destroyed. But no one had told me where to find the Anax or why I should ask him for help.

“I’m glad it happened.” He put his arm around me, and I leaned into him, breathing in a scent I couldn’t have described if my life depended on it, A woodsy, warm scent. It was Xavier, and it meant safety and caring. “We found each other because you made that choice.”

“Maybe I was drawn to you.” I said it sarcastically but as I spoke, I realized it might be true. I’d had some bond to the Anax because he was the Anax and I was a werewolf in the country he ruled, but maybe that wasn’t what my wolf had followed to arrive at this house. Maybe as a wolf, I’d sensed my mate and had followed that sense.

“Could be.” He kissed the top of my head. No sparks flew this time; it was just sweet and tender, and for some reason it made me sleepy. “Let’s go to bed, yeah? I’m on duty in the morning, but we’ll all be together part of the time because of driving back to Winthrop. Which is only about an hour from here, so not much of a drive. I’m driving the Anax, and I’m sure he won’t mind if you ride with us.”

“Okay.”

He stood. “I’m going to my room to get something to sleep in and clothes for tomorrow. I’ll be right back.”

While he was out of the room, I put on the T-shirt and shorts I’d been sleeping in. Without my binder. It wasn’t like Xavier hadn’t seen me binderless in this shirt before, but not having it on felt odd now that I’d been wearing it for a day and a half or so. Which meant it probably needed to be washed. Fortunately, I’d bought more than one. On our shopping trip, Suzannah had taken me to a shop, located near several colleges, that catered to transgender people. Including, thank fuck, selling binders in a range of sizes. Apparently at least two of the colleges in the area had a decent number of trans students, so someone had decided opening the store there was a good idea. As far as I was concerned, it definitely was.

Xavier came back wearing shorts and no shirt, carrying a bundle of clothes. He pulled a T-shirt out and held it up. “I can put this on.”

“You don’t have to.” His chest was very nice to look at, and I fought the urge to flatten my palms against it. That would lead to something other than sleep, and right now, for some reason, I was exhausted. “You keep saying you want me to be comfortable. I want you to be.”

“Okay.” With a skeptical look, he put the clothes on the chair and walked over to the bed. “You sure?”

“Yeah.” My mouth watered, and I quickly looked away. Even though—no, especially because I didn’t want to. Maybe I should have told him to put the shirt on, but if he felt better without the shirt, who was I to tell him he had to wear it? “It’s fine.”

“You know I don’t believe you, right?” Grinning, he lay on his side and held out his hand. “Hey. You being okay matters more to me than whether I wear a shirt. Or wear anything at all.”

“Um…” I wasn’t quite sure where to go with that. “Don’t you usually wear something to bed?”

“Not if I can help it.” He let his hand fall to the bed between us. “A lot of us—werewolves, that is—don’t like wearing clothes. We feel constrained. It’s a wolf thing, but for some of us it carries over to the human side. During the day, when we’re around other people, we follow social norms, but in bed by ourselves, we don’t have to.”

“You don’t have to with me?” I wasn’t sure if I was telling him or asking myself, because honestly, having a naked Xavier next to me would probably mean I wouldn’t get a damn bit of sleep.

“Yes, I do.” He touched my hair. “We aren’t at the sleeping naked together point yet. Maybe eventually. Or not. I’m okay either way. I like holding you while I sleep more than I like being naked.”

I couldn’t resist. “There are other uses for being naked besides sleeping.”

“Yeah, we aren’t at that point yet either.” With a grin, he leaned closer. His breath brushed my cheek like a kiss, and I shivered. “Go to sleep, Ren.”

“Since when do you tell me what to do?” I rolled to face him. “We aren’t at the following orders point either.”

He laughed. “Fair enough. Let’s both just get some rest. Tomorrow’s going to be a day.”