Page 3 of Virtually Guarded

“I’m male.” I tried to take a deeper breath and flinched. It felt like someone was taking a jackhammer to my ribs. “Fuck.” I stared at him. Swearing in front of the Anax was probably not acceptable. “Oh, Anax, I’m sorry.”

“For swearing? I suspect you’re in a lot of pain.” He studied me. “You’re…”

“Trans,” I spat. It almost sounded like I was swearing again, mostly because I was still afraid I’d read him wrong and he would go off on me. “I’m a transgender man.”

He nodded slowly. “Got it. So he/him?”

I blinked. That wasn’t the reaction I’d braced myself for. “Yeah. Um, yes, Anax. He/him.”

“I think you didn’t hear me before,” he said in an even gentler tone. “I would like you to call me Tobias. That’s my name. I’m not speaking to you as your Anax right now. I’m speaking as someone who’s concerned. What happened to you, Ren?”

I opened and closed my mouth a couple of times. Words. I needed words. But then I would have to tell him the truth. What the pack—some of them, anyway—had done to me. And why. I couldn’t. The pain in my body was bad enough. The pain of what they’d done, the threats they’d made…

I burst into tears, hating myself for it but unable to stop. Curled up, eyes closed so I wouldn’t have to see the Anax’s judgment, I bawled like a frigging infant.

He just let me cry. I didn’t know how long. It felt like a year, lying there with the Anax’s gaze weighing on me. Not in a bad way. Oddly, having him watch me felt soothing. Maybe because he didn’t try to touch me, and he didn’t leave. He just sat.

Finally, he said, “Ren, listen to me. Can you hear me?”

I didn’t trust myself to speak, but with a sniffle, I nodded.

“My guard Xavier is nearby,” he said. “He is a good man and will not hurt you. I’m going to have him bring us both some clothes, and then we’ll go into my house. You’ll be safe in there. I can give you food and something to drink.”

“You…” Was I understanding him right? He was going to take care of me? “You’ll help?”

“Of course.” He stood. “Is it okay if I have Xavier join us now?”

“I…” I couldn’t help it. I looked down at myself. The fucking chest I couldn’t hide. The cleft between my legs. The Anax didn’t seem bothered by it, but this Xavier might be. “He’s safe?”

“He won’t harm you,” he said firmly. “I give you my word as Anax of the United States.”

Something wrapped tightly around us. A bond, strong and unbreakable. What had he done? Wide-eyed, I cleared my throat. “Anax?”

“Tobias,” he reminded me. “Yes. You felt it. I can’t and won’t break my word. Can I contact Xavier?”

“Oh. Um, yes.” I curled up again. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He was silent, and I lay on the ground, eyes closed, wishing I hadn’t come here. Which made no fucking sense. The pack wasn’t here. Maybe they hadn’t followed me after all. And the Anax was going to make things all right.

After a few minutes, I heard footsteps and looked to see a tall man, at least a foot taller than me, hurrying toward us with his hands full of clothes. His skin was light, his eyes dark under black brows that matched his hair. The tall guy’s arms were almost as big around as my thighs, his chest broad, his muscles obvious even under the T-shirt he wore. He looked a little like a guy I’d gone to school with whose mother was Chinese and whose dad was whiter than me.

And he shone. Brightly, like a star, like the moon. More brightly than the Anax had in wolf form. I couldn’t take my eyes off him. A magnetic force pulled me toward him, even though I didn’t move. When he came to a stop, gaze fixed on me, I knew he felt it too. Whatever it was.

Mine, a small voice said in the back of my mind. He is mine.

That was the most terrifying thought I’d had all day. Quickly, I turned away.

The man didn’t say anything. A few seconds passed before the Anax said, “Ren, this is Xavier Pelly, my guard. Once you’re dressed, he can carry you back to the house if you’re okay with that, or we can help you walk.”

“I…” I gulped and chanced another glance at Xavier. He stood beside the Anax, hands clasped in front of himself. His gaze seemed to be on the ground, but I felt his awareness of me. Like mine of him. He was there. Shining, even though that wasn’t quite the right word. Calling to me. Mine.

Thank God, the Anax held out the clothes, and I took them. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. Go ahead and get dressed.” He turned his back to me and motioned for Xavier to do the same.

I quickly yanked the T-shirt over my head. It was about four sizes too big, which was good. It didn’t hide my chest quite as well as my binder would have, but I was probably never getting my binder back. It, along with the few other things I owned, were in my backpack, and I didn’t know where that had ended up when the wolf attacked me.