Page 29 of Virtually Guarded

“I guess I didn’t pay that much attention.” With a sigh, he looked up at the window again. “Okay. So turning into a wolf. Running. Not hunting, because I don’t think I’d be able to deal with that even if I was in wolf form. What else?”

“After a few hours, the moon won’t have a hold on us anymore.” That was an important piece that I hadn’t been told about on my first hunt night. “You’ll feel it, just like you’ll feel it when it starts having an effect. Once its hold lessens, we can shift back whenever we choose. Some will stay in wolf form until sunrise; others shift back as soon as they can. After we shift back, we can go inside if we want to. We’ll just need to let the Anax know where we are.”

“Okay.” He tilted his head. “Is that it?”

That wasn’t it. On hunt nights, those with mates usually engaged in other…activities after the hunt. The animalistic instinct and drive didn’t completely let up when people shifted back, and even those who didn’t have mates often found someone to fuck for a few hours. Under the circumstances, I didn’t think bringing that up with Ren would go over well. I wouldn’t mean it as a proposition, but that didn’t preclude him hearing it as one.

“Yeah,” I said. “That’s it.”

“And you’ll stay with me?” he asked softly. “Even after we get back? If people are animals…Well, you know what I mean. I’d probably be fine once I got to my room.”

“But getting to your room means getting past everyone else.” I held out my hand. This time, he took it, and I caught my breath at the jolt and heat that rushed through me. “I’ll stay with you,” I said, barely hearing my own voice over the pounding of my heart. “All night. I promise.”

“Th—thank you.” He stared at our hands. “What else happens on full moon nights, Xavier? I know you didn’t tell me everything.”

Shit. Of course he knew. How could he not when we were so obviously connected?

How could I tell him that for a lot of werewolves, full moon night ended with sex?

I wouldn’t lie to him. Even if he got the wrong idea, that was better than lying. “It doesn’t happen with everyone, but a lot of people like to have sex on full moon nights. With their mates if they have them, or they just find someone to be with. It isn’t exactly a wolf thing, and obviously it isn’t required. It’s just that people give in to urges when the wolf side is still close to being in control.”

“Oh.” He pulled his hand out of mine, and my hand felt far emptier than it should have. “So asking you to stay with me until morning?”

“Means I’ll stay with you until morning,” I said quickly. “Nothing has to happen, Ren. Look, sex isn’t a big deal for me. I mean, it isn’t something I think much about. I need a strong connection to someone before I’m attracted to them that way.”

“We’re mates. Don’t we have a strong connection?” He shook his head. “After that kiss the other day, I’m pretty sure we do.”

“Absolutely.” I was botching this completely, and I didn’t know how to get out of it. But my mouth ran ahead of my brain. “I’m attracted to you, Ren. I am. Yes, we do have a strong connection, and that kiss…I hope we’re going to repeat it. Tonight if you want. I won’t say no.”

“Shit.” With a sigh, he took my hand again. “I’m not trying to talk you into fucking me. I’m not. I just…”

“I get it.” I wasn’t sure I did, but I couldn’t stand seeing him so uncomfortable. “Ren, what happens, happens. Let’s not plan, okay? We’ll hunt together, and I’ll stay with you until morning. On your bedroom floor if that’s easier.”

He snorted. “I don’t think we have to go that far. But yeah. Let’s get through the hunt, and then we’ll see.”

“We’ll see,” I said, agreeing with him.

“Yeah.” He turned around again. “It feels like I’ve known you forever. Talking to you in the evenings, or just sitting with you, I feel like every night has been a decade. That sounds ridiculous.”

“No. I feel it too.” I did, and it was probably why my wolf so badly wanted to claim him. Even though I didn’t like having sex with anyone unless a strong emotional connection existed first, and even then it was rare for me to feel sexual attraction, spending time with Ren had accelerated the bond between us. And the need to claim one’s mate was more overpowering than most werewolves could ignore.

I wasn’t ignoring it. Just putting it on hold until Ren felt secure in his place here. But even that was painful. My mate was right here with me. Our bond existed even though we’d done nothing to strengthen or formalize it. Unless the kiss counted, which it should have. I didn’t remember ever having such an intense kiss, but with Ren’s lips on mine, his body against mine, I’d felt like we were a single being. Part of each other. Joined completely.

If a kiss had been that mind-blowing, I could only imagine what sex would be like if and when we reached that point.

By six o’clock that evening, everyone, even the usually mellow Seth, was on edge. The moon would rise shortly, and some of the people present were already mentally in wolf form even though their bodies hadn’t shifted yet. Most of them were nude, which didn’t bother me, but I caught Ren blushing and quickly looking away from several of them. We kept our clothes on. We could undress when it was time to shift.

I stayed by Ren, both shielding him from everyone else and watching him for any sign that he was struggling. He might not recognize a problem until it was too late; on his first hunt night, he had no way to know what was typical. I might not pick up on any issues either, but I at least had more experience with hunt nights.

Finally, the Anax announced that it was time to go outside. A few hundred wolves made their way through all of the available exits, and I was pretty sure I saw a few go through a window just to get out of the house faster. Ren clutched my hand as we joined the throng, and I made sure to keep him close to my side. His fear was palpable, fueling my own concerns. I was the Anax’s guard, but for tonight, as far as I was concerned, my first responsibility was to my mate.

However, as one of the guards, I had the job of monitoring the crowd along with the other guards. Our regular duty times were irrelevant on hunt nights. All seven of us were on duty to ensure the safety of everyone present. The Anax and Kyle in particular, of course, but all of the others as well.

“I’ll be one of the last to shift,” I told Ren as we made our way to a spot on the perimeter of the back lawn. “I have to keep an eye on everyone. It’s part of the job.”

Nodding, he gulped. “I don’t know where to go.”

“Stay with us.” Jamie walked over to us with Garrett Saucier and Felicia Norwood, two of the City Pack wolves. “You can be part of our group, Ren. Xavier, you too, once you’re able to shift.”