Page 91 of Kill Me

“Doesn’t even deserve the title of a man. So many men want to focus on it not being all men, and it’s not, but you never know which ones it is. If you can’t even trust that the man you marry isn’t going to drug you in order to have sex with you, then what hope do the good ones have?” He sighs.

“I know you would never do any of these things to me,” I reassure him.

“I know. It’s just the knowledge that even after the ones we’ve managed to save, there are so many more not even on our radar. The idea that we can't save them all really does terrify me.”

“Bones, look at me.” I wait until his eyes meet mine before I continue. “You may not be able to save them all; that’s life, unfortunately. Not everyone is ready to be saved or wants to save themselves, and for many that comes too late. But, for the ones you do manage to save, their lives go on to be something they thought they could never have because you were a stepping stone for them. Without that stepping stone, they would have drowned.”

“I suppose. I’m just glad we managed to help keep you from drowning.” He reaches his hand up to cup my cheek, his thumb stroking my skin.

My eyes flutter closed at the action. “Me too, baby, me too.”

Chapter Forty-Nine

Quinn - Present Day

This man has turned me into a sex-craving monster. I’m insatiable. I have never craved sex during my period the way I did with my last one. If anything, the idea of a man touching me had me curling into a ball with disgust. But now Mother Nature has fucked off, I’m determined to try some new things.

We’re on the sofa watching some more Grey’s. X and Rhi are out on a stakeout, and Lulu is at the shop working on a gift for me, apparently. I keep telling her she’s done enough for me, but she says it’s a souvenir of my healing journey. Whatever that means.

“So… Bones…” I try to be seductive and fail miserably.

He looks over to me, his curiosity piqued by my tone.

He presses pause on the TV. “Yes, Little Magpie?”

“How do you feel about helping me with some more exposure therapy at some point in the future?”

“I’m listening…”

“I’d like to try somno.” He sits up straight.

“Baby—”

“Stop. Just listen to me for a second, please.” He relaxes back against the sofa. “You’ve done such a good job helping me to see my body for what it is, to not hate how I look. To almost enjoy the feeling of you grabbing onto my belly or playing with my side rolls when we’re lying in bed at night-time.”

“I can’t help it,” he says. “I find them comforting.”

“I still say you’re a freak for it, but that’s why I want to try it. My ex took so much power away from me. More than Dane and Eric did. To an extent, I knew at some point Eric was going to do something to me. I didn’t expect it to be that, but I did expect something. But with my ex, I was in my own bed. In my own home. And totally out of my control. I want to take some of that back.”

“Okay. I get it. Would you want to be informed beforehand? Or for it to be a total surprise?”

“I feel like we need to go all in and say a total surprise.”

“Okay, baby. We can do that.”

“But, in the meantime… Can we practice?” I wink at him and stand up off the sofa. My body aches as I do so, pain shooting through my legs. I bend over for a second and catch my breath.

“You’re supposed to be resting. You’ve had a big day.”

“Resting, schmesting. Sure I can’t tempt you?”

“Absolutely not. I’m behaving myself.”

“Okay, Bones.” I shrug. He looks at me suspiciously. I know I have nothing on under the hoodie, but he doesn’t…yet. I pull the hem of the hoodie up over my head and throw it onto the sofa.

He knows now. “I suppose I’ll just practice by myself then.” I walk out of the room and barely get to the steps before I hear him telling Ted to stay and jumping over the back of the sofa to catch me. “You better run, Magpie. I’m coming to get you,” he shouts.

I take a seat halfway up the stairs, legs spread, my pussy on full view as he comes skidding to a stop.