Page 77 of Kill Me

“That’s good. I need honesty. Here’s mine. I think you could cope with getting revenge on Eric and Millie. She’s your biggest betrayal. His friend doesn’t really mean anything to you. Yes, he’s one of your rapists, but in the grand scheme of things, he’s irrelevant to your life. Eric is someone whose murder I believe you would thrive off of. Both he and Millie would be essential to your healing process.” I sit back on my heels and tie my hair up on my head. It’s getting fucking warm in here.

But?” she asks.

“But I don’t think you would ever recover from the loss of your mother. No matter what she’s done, you still hope for her to turn around and be different. However you lose her, I believe it will devastate you.”

“You’re probably right. But while she’s alive, I’ll never be able to heal or relax. I’ll always be looking over my shoulder wondering when she’s coming to get me. That devastation for me is necessary to my healing process. Would you do it for me?” She looks at me with hope in her eyes. Like I’m the gateway from her present life into the next. Like a dog looking at you with puppy eyes begging you to give it back its toy when it’s nap time.

And I’m a fucking sucker for puppies.

“Tell me what you need,” I say to her.

“I need you to kill my mother and Dane, his best friend. I don’t care how. I don’t care when. The other two I think you’re right about. I need to do those myself. But I’ll need your help with the aftermath.” She looks confident in her request, not second-guessing for a moment.

“You’ve got it, girl. But I have two conditions: H must know everything. I don’t keep secrets from the people I love. And I won’t lie to you about how and when.”

She tucks her hair behind her ears. “I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

I pull her out of the chair, Ted looking at me like I’ve destroyed his entire life. “Come on then, girl. Let’s go find your man.”

Chapter Forty-Four

Lulu - Present Day

Ruby Dark Rose – Queens

I needed no other encouragement than Quinn asking me to off her mother and the rapist best friend of her brother’s. It’s the least I can do to help her heal.

“Good evening, love birds,” I tease as I walk out into the garden where Quinn is journaling, and H is playing ball with Ted, and they’re both sitting watching the sun set. Her session earlier was a lot. Less emotional than the first one, but still as debilitating. We filled H in on the plan when we had finished chatting, and as I expected, he was fully on board.

Quinn shuts her journal and looks up at me. “What is it?” she asks.

“Well, you know how this week of therapy is supposed to be 'intensive'?"

“‘Intensive’ is one word for it. It’s knocked me for six, I know that much.”

“How would you feel if I knock another couple of things off that list this evening?” I look at her, hoping she catches my drift.

“Tonight’s the night? Even though we only spoke about it today?”

“Tonight’s the night for your mum, yes. If we give you an unlimited amount of time, you will go back and forth on all of your decisions and never get anywhere. If you don’t want me to do it, then you need to let me know now.”

She looks pensive for a second. “I’m sure. For me to get better, I need her out of my life for good. I’m sad that my dad will have to grieve both his wife and eventually his son, but at the same time, I think it will set him free, too. And he deserves that as much as I do. He may not have made the best decisions, but he made the best of a bad situation. I can’t punish him for that forever.”

Harley stands up to go and fetch the ball for Ted, and whilst he’s out of hearing range, I have something I need to say. “I think it’s safe to say that the entire group has fallen head over heels for you. But no one more than that man right there. Now you know the truth about what I do; I need to be clear. If you ever hurt him, if I ever have to pick up the pieces to the soul that he has so carefully protected over the last two decades since his parents died, you will join the monsters on my shelves—in minute little pieces. Capiche?”

She holds out her pinky finger with no words because the action is enough.

“Okay. Good. Because I really don’t want to have to do that.” I nod. “Do we need a safe word, Quinn?” She shakes her head.

“No. I won’t change my mind. I think you’re right that I wouldn’t be able to cope with doing it myself. Knowing it’s coming feels easier than the unexpected.”

“I’ll see you all later. Keep her busy, Little Cousin.”

“I intend to.” He winks at me.

“TMI, you pervert,” I say, and he laughs.

“I didn’t mean that sexually.”