Page 62 of Kill Me

“Now you’re splitting hairs.”

“You deserve the best, Little Magpie. And where I’m concerned, that is what you shall receive.”

He grabs the equipment to insert the cannula into my arm. “Sharp scratch.” I don’t flinch.

“All that time in hospital had some benefits,” I say with a shrug.

He shakes his head. If this man isn’t careful, he’s going to give himself a concussion.

He connects the cannula to the IV bag before twisting the dial and letting the liquid flow.

“Here we go, Little Magpie. Your brand new life is waiting on the other side of this.”

I feel the cool liquid seeping into my veins.

“A brand new life I intend to spend listening to the sound of your laugh and admiring the dimples in your cheeks.”

He leans back in his seat and poses. “Paint me like one of your girls, Jack.”

We both burst into laughter. It’s a nice distraction from the tightness in my chest as I think about the darkness I’m about to encounter.

“Wait!”

He looks at me in alarm. “What’s the matter? Does it hurt?”

“No, nothing like that. I need Ted. I know I have you, but he grounds me. In this moment you’re my therapist; I need a comfort that can actually comfort me without breaking any boundaries.”

“Jesus Christ, woman, I thought you were fucking dying.”

I sit back in the chair and breathe deeply, closing my eyes and focusing on the silence around me.

“Not a chance. I’m not going to make it that easy on them this time. They say revenge is a dish best served cold. I say it’s best served bloody, and that’s exactly what I intend to do.”

Chapter Thirty-Seven

Harley - Present Day

Day 1 of therapy…

What they don’t prepare you for when you’re training is how it will feel when you see someone you care for going through treatment. In fact, they teach you NOT to treat the people you love. But I’m learning thick and fast that where my little magpie is concerned. the rules don’t apply.

Sitting opposite Quinn and watching her gradually, properly relax is thought-provoking. How long has she been walking around with her shoulders hunched over trying to shrink herself from view? How many years has she spent thinking she’s unworthy of the space she takes up? It boils my blood that people have had the audacity to treat her this way. I want to string every single one of them up and use them as fairy lights for our first Christmas together. Maybe even tie her up in them.

I mean her first Christmas as a free woman, of course.

Stop judging me. I can feel your eyes burning into me through the pages as you roll them at my bullshit. Just let me live in the land of delusion for a few more days. I need to get to the other side of this, and then I can ravage her body within an inch of her life and then bring her back from the brink once again.

Eww. I’m a cheesy cunt. What the fuck?

Gone is the man who didn’t need a woman. The independent man who put his work first. I’ve dated here and there, but in my adult life I’ve never really experienced love. As a kid, however, that’s a different story. And if I’m honest, she ruined me for everyone else. I’ve spent years trying to track her down on social media or hoping to bump into her, now I’m back in town. But we never used each other’s real names, and we weren’t in the same class, so I don’t even know her full name. My entire school career, I was the subject of bullies, so it’s not like I can dial up an old school friend and dig for information. And we don’t do yearbooks in the UK.

Class photos, yes. But when your parents leave you as an orphan at the age of twelve, the last thing you think about is rescuing the photos before you’re yeeted onto the street to fend for yourself.

But then there was Quinn, and that girl from when I was a kid, all but vanished from my memory. Some may say that makes me fickle, but when the girl of my dreams lands in my lap, I say I’d be a fucking idiot to turn that away.

I’m nervous for this treatment. Nervous about what I’m going to hear. Nervous about what she’s going to remember. Terrified that I may do more damage than good. But this is genuinely the best way I think we can help her.

“Quinn, can you hear me?” She nods slowly. “Tell me what you feel.”