Page 33 of Kill Me

“Ah, yes, the rules. Don’t worry, I’ll read them as soon as I’m allowed.”

He unhooks the chain from the door, the sounds of metal clanking and clattering cause undue attention from the residents inside as the door opens. My mouth drops. Inside there are tables and chairs in a regimental order, with a clear divide down the middle. A board which says The Daily Subject with a sentence underneath that I can’t quite make out at the moment. One group of people seated to the right are in a red uniform, a stark contrast to my powder blue one, and to the left, the people who match me are seated. The right side is positively glowing at the sight of new blood on the premises, with wide, toothy smiles, looking at Dick expectantly. A mixture of sexes—because gender isn’t linear or obvious to assume—and all seemingly slim and put together. It’s obvious they don’t live in the same place that I do. On the left side, they’re a mixture of sizes but mostly overweight; their hair is greasy, their skin is littered with acne, and their faces look gaunt despite the added weight on the rest of their bodies.

It’s like a battle of the bodies, but the skinny ones always win by the looks of this place.

He gestures inside. “You can sit at the table with The Degenerates, seeing as you’re one of them.”

“The what?”

“The Degenerates. The Undesirables. The people society doesn't care about.”

“But people do care about me. I have a family.”

“You have bigger issues than I thought if you think your parents dropping you off here was a sign that they care about you. Now, go. Eat. Darla will be in with your medication soon. Your food is on your plate.”

He shuts the door behind me, and I’m left alone. Well, as alone as I can be with ten other people in the room. I walk over to the table with ‘The Degenerates’, as he called them, and introduce myself.

“Hi! I’m Quinn, where can I sit?”

They look at me, stunned.

“What? Do I have something on my face? I haven’t been able to look in the mirror this morning, obviously.”

Their heads shake furiously, as if begging me to stop talking.

“Are you all mute?”

One girl reaches out and grabs hold of my hand. She lifts her finger to her mouth, signalling me to be quiet and stop talking, before running her finger across her throat in a cutting motion. I nod my head, gulping, showing I understand, and sit in the available seat next to her. In front of me is a plate with one hard-boiled egg and some blueberries. Next to it is a glass of ice water and a laxative pack with ‘Guaranteed to melt the fat off of you’ as their tagline.

Great, so now it’s not just the fact they want to fry my brain I need to worry about; they want to heighten my eating disorder too. What an epic fucking establishment.

I go to pick up a knife to cut my egg in half and find the side of my plate empty. I look up and go to speak, but as soon as I open my mouth, the girl covers it with her hand. She gestures with her hands to show that they’re my only utensils. I break the egg into pieces and take a bite. It's cold and congealed, and the yolk is so dry it sticks to my teeth. Ick.

I pick up my glass of water and take a gulp before eating the rest of the egg and the few berries on my plate. Maybe he was right, and they stole some food off of my plate because they didn’t know I was actually gonna show up for breakfast. Surely, they have to feed us more than this?

Once I’ve finished the food, the girl next to me gestures to the wall where I saw the daily subject as I came in. Next to it is a giant notification board with Rules written on the top of it. I stand up and make my way over to it. Anticipation crawls across my body in the form of goosebumps, and my stomach wants to volley the egg straight back up, but I need to eat before they give me my medication.

As I start to read the rules, my heart starts to pound. Fear and trepidation scream from inside me to get out of this fucking place by any means necessary.

Saving Hearts’ Rules

1. Must ask permission to use the bathroom. 5 minutes in the bathroom at any time, twice a day (if you mess yourself, you sleep in it).

2. Not allowed out unless unaccompanied by either Richard or Darla.

3. If a member of Mycroft House (The Undesirables) is spoken to by a member of the Moriati House (The Superiors), you are allowed to respond but do not speak unless spoken to (exception to the rule between your designated group only – see Rule 9)

4. No contraband (electronics, clothes, toiletries, unapproved books, makeup).

6. You are allowed exactly 1 hour of exercise a day. Moving is mandatory. If you are caught sitting or not moving, you will be forced to kneel on rice until lights out.

7. You will be weighed daily, and if you are overweight, you must lose weight until you reach the hospital's desired weight for you.

8. Mealtimes are mandatory unless the matrons tell you otherwise – no snacks or sugary foods.

9. Every day at breakfast, there will be a daily subject on the board. This subject is the only thing you may talk about.

10. Hot water is a privilege that must be earned – show willingness, and you will be rewarded.