Page 21 of The Seashell of ’Ohana

I flicked her forehead. “No, you don’t.”

“Ouch.” She waved my hand away.

Silence fell between us. I closed my eyes, inhaled a deep breath, then opened my eyes again. How had my younger sister, who always needed me, become the stronger one?

“Thank you for checking up on me,” I said. “It’s sweet of you, but as you can see, I’m fine.”

She bobbed a shoulder and adjusted the pillow to get comfortable. “So you say. I want you to know that you did nothing wrong. We were all watching the kids. If I had thought he …” She couldn’t say it. “Well, I would have freaked out, too. I mean, we all were frantic until Ian pulled him out of the water and we could see he was fine. I know how you think, Abby. You weren’t punished for having fun. Don’t do this to yourself.”

“Having a child is a huge responsibility. And being a single mom is hard.” My voice cracked, and tears pooled in my eyes. “I’m a mom and a dad. I should have been watching him. What if … I can’t lose him, too.”

“I know, but it didn’t happen. Tyler gave us a scare.” She rolled her eyes and puffed out her cheeks with a frustrated huff. “I don’t ever want to know what could have been.” She squeezed me. “Do you remember when I told you about the time Bridget fell in the waterfall?”

I nodded and wiped away tears with my knuckles.

“Lee and I were right there. We watched her, but one second she was there and the next she wasn’t. Thank God she’d had a few swimming lessons and her survival instincts kicked in. You’ve been amazing, raising Ty. You’re teaching him and giving him tools to become independent. I’m not a mom, so I may be overstepping, especially with no experience raising a child, but I just want you to know that you’re doing awesome.”

She flashed her teeth in a huge, dorky grin, making me break into a sharp laugh.

“You need to give yourself more credit. You’ve helped me with Ty the past few years, and you’re also like a mother to Bridget. You do know what you’re talking about, and I value your opinion.”

She lowered her eyelashes and offered a smile. “Do you remember what Mom and Dad used to tell us?”

“Of course, how could I forget?” I deepened my voice to sound like my father. “‘Girls, I can provide you with the tools, but you’ll have to be the one who knows how and when to use them.’”

“When we were young, we did more for ourselves.” Kate held up a finger. “Like walk to school, make our lunch, and you had to take care of me after school until Mom came home. But we treat our kids like they’re going to break if we don’t do everything for them. It’s a different generation for sure.”

“Maybe we’re making up for what our parents didn’t do for us. Or maybe we know more.” I threw up a hand in frustration. “The internet and social media gave us a reality check. We used to play outside until dark, but there’s no way I would allow Ty to do that. I would worry too much, wonder who’s trying to kidnap him.”

Kate turned onto her back and peered at the ceiling. “Lee and I never allow Bridget out of our sight when we go out. I don’t even let her use the restroom alone at the restaurants. Sometimes I wonder if we’re too overbearing, but I’d rather her be safe than for me to be sorry.”

I yawned and turned to my back, matching Kate. “Was I rude to Ian when we went inside the house?”

“No, but were you trying to be?” She sounded hesitant.

“No, of course not. I was just …”

She stretched her arm to the ceiling. “You were less talkative, and that’s understandable after the scare. But I have to say, you two were so cute when we were playing ping-pong.”

“I’m not quite sure how to act around him. It’s been so long since I’ve had a male friend.”

“Just be yourself.” Kate released a long yawn and snuggled onto her side to face me again.

“I guess. But sometimes I don’t know who I am anymore.”

Before Steve, I had been independent and focused. A go-getter. Steve and I had been a team, and our routine had been perfect until he’d gotten sick.

After Steve had died, life had become a rat race, and I ran all the time without a clear vision of where I was going. And I was too nervous about being back in the dating world anytime soon. I might never be ready. My son was safe and healthy, and that was all that mattered.

“You know who you are, Abby,” my sister said with conviction. “You’re one of the strongest women I know. You just need time to heal. I’m not trying to push Ian on you. If the chemistry is there, then great. When you’re ready to let Steve go, you’ll find love again.”

I glanced at the photo of Steve and me. The streetlight hit perfectly across his face, and to me, he looked like an angel. Tyler’s angel, and mine, watching over us from above.

His smile in the photo, the adoration on his face, made me heartsick. My composure ripped at the seams. The thought of moving on without Steve, I couldn’t … wouldn’t.

“I miss him so much, Kate.” My voice cracked, and I turned on my side. “There are days, too many of them, when I don’t think I can go on.”

“Oh, Abby.” My sister draped her arm around me. “I miss him, too. He’s looking down from Heaven, and he’s so proud of you. Proud of your success. Proud of you for raising Ty alone. Proud of you for being strong.”