Page 34 of Over Time Advantage

Bailey and I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. It’s definitely a strange situation, but it’s our normal.

Kam looks me up and down before licking her lips. “I’ll fuck you, Fallon.”

I sigh as I roll my eyes at yet another in her bevy of constant advances. “Thanks, Kam. It’s good to know I’ve still got it.”

Diane: Happy New Year, mystery man. I was today years old when I learned that an alligator’s penis is permanently erect but only pops out when needed.

Lloyd: You’re adorable when you drink. And now I have deep compassion for alligators because that sounds painful.

I giggle in my bed. Is it weird that I couldn’t wait for everyone to leave tonight so I could “talk” to Lloyd?

Diane: What are you doing right now?

Lloyd: Honestly? I’m lying in bed, feeling particularly lonely on a night like tonight.

Diane: You should find someone to share that bed with you.

Lloyd: I’m laughing at the notion. It’s been a while since I’ve shared my bed with anyone. Plus, the only woman I’m interested in is on the other side of this phone.

It’s not the first time he’s mentioned not having had sex in a long time. Curiosity gets the best of me.

Diane: Can I ask you a personal question?

Lloyd: Isn’t that what we do every night?

Diane: How long has it been for you?

Lloyd: How long has what been?

Diane: Sex. How long since you’ve had sex?

Lloyd: Years.

Diane: Why?

Lloyd: Mostly because no one has piqued my interest, and I don’t trust anyone. I’ve been burned badly. It’s hard to come back from that.

Diane: Your ex-wife cheated on you?

Lloyd: Yes.

I’m not sure I realized that.

Diane: I wish I was with you right now.

Lloyd: Me too.

I’m trying to picture it, but it’s so hard when you have no clue what someone looks like.

Diane: What do you look like, Lloyd?

Lloyd: I thought we agreed not to go there.

He’s right. We did. In my crazy mind, he looks like Jett because that’s the man I’m most attracted to. In reality, I know Lloyd couldn’t possibly be that attractive because no one in the world is. My biggest fear in meeting him is being disappointed in that regard. Of not having any physical attraction to him.

Diane: I’m sorry. I had too much to drink and spent the night surrounded by couples who are all madly in love, including my ex-husband and his girlfriend.

Lloyd: I’ve been thinking. Let’s make our first official date. I know you mentioned your daughter’s birthday is coming up. After that?