Page 48 of Flashback for the Forward

“Have you lost your damn mind?” he roared.

Most definitely, but you wouldn’t hear me admitting it out loud.

Instead, I dug my heels in, prepared to defend my decision.

“We love each other,” I declared, lying through my teeth. At best, Kennedy was infatuated with me, and I couldn’t give my heart to her because it already belonged to Bridget.

Crew fake gagged. “Spare me.”

“If you gave her a chance, got to know her—”

“You barely know her!” he shouted. “And it doesn’t make any sense why you’d be rushing into this unless . . .” A loud groan spilled into the air, and he scrubbed a hand down his face. “Oh God, you got her pregnant, didn’t you?”

“No, she’s not pregnant.”

Hell, we hadn’t even slept together yet. I hadn’t been able to stomach the thought—Bridget was the only woman I’d ever been intimate with—but I’d be forced to buck up soon with the wedding night looming in a little over twenty-four hours.

Hauling in a deep breath, my brother said, “Losing Russ was hard.”

My palm rubbed against the ache that had taken up residence beneath my sternum since the day my best friend died.

“You’re still grieving. I am too.”

Voice thick, I said, “Not sure what that has to do with any of this.”

“My head’s been so fucked up since it happened that I started seeing a therapist. It’s helped a lot, but from the start, he’s been insistent that I not make any major life decisions right now because grief impairs your ability to think clearly.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” I shot back. “For the first time in my life, I am thinking clearly.”

“I refuse to believe that.”

I folded both arms over my chest. “It really doesn’t matter what you believe, because it won’t change my mind.”

A cry of frustration rolled up his throat. “You’re impossible!”

I blew out a heavy breath. “Look, I really don’t want to fight about this with my best man.”

Crew’s eyes bulged. “Best man? You’re kidding, right?”

Years ago, we’d worked it out so that we would take turns as best man for each other. I was going to be Crew’s, Russ was going to be mine, and Crew would be Russ’s. Obviously, that arrangement no longer worked.

“You’re more than my brother; you’re my twin. Of course I’d want you to stand beside me on the biggest day of my life.”

“No.” He gave a firm shake of his head. “I refuse to watch you make a huge mistake.”

I stood there stunned into silence. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined my identical twin wouldn’t attend my wedding.

“I need to get out of here.” Crew pushed past me toward the door.

At the last second, I called out, “Wait!”

His hand paused on the handle, but he didn’t turn around, uttering a weary “What?”

“You’re really not coming tomorrow?”

Shoulders slumping, he replied, “I love you, but I just can’t, Cole.”

Then he was gone, and the pit in my stomach grew heavier than ever.