Page 68 of Falling

“I’m honored,” Booker said, extracting the bottle of lube and box of condoms from the bag. “And glad you brought your own supplies, because it’s been a while.”

I beamed at him, nervousness falling away and being replaced by a warm, fuzzy feeling that welled up from the pit of my stomach.

“Then why are we still waiting?”

I started laughing when Booker picked me up to carry me upstairs and didn’t stop until he pinned me to the bed, and only then because I couldn’t laugh and kiss him at the same time. I wanted to kiss him just a little more.

“You sure about this?” he asked, pulling back to look at me.

I pulled him down to kiss him again, messy and filthy and perfect. Licking my way into his mouth, nipping at his lower lip just to feel him shiver. Exactly as I’d imagined this would go.

“I’m sure,” I said, anticipation coiling in my gut. I’d done my research, I knew what to expect, but there was no substitute for experience. This was as much my reward for getting through the past few days and saving the library as it was Booker’s birthday gift.

“Because you don’t have to,” Booker responded, voice rough but serious.

“I know,” I said, confident that if I wanted to tap out at any moment, there’d be no argument. I couldn’t imagine wanting to, but I trusted Booker. He’d never hurt me. “I want to. I want this, and I want it to be with you. This is so much more for me than it is for you, you have no idea.”

“Oh, it’s for me, too,” Booker said, brushing his thumb over my lower lip. “But we could wait until I can do it⁠—“

“Right?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Booker nodded, eyes softening with uncertainty.

“This is right,” I said, catching his lips again for a heartbeat, rubbing the tip of my nose against his. “I don’t need it to be a whole big thing. I just need it to be you. Please, Book.”

“That’s cheating,” he said.

“You love it.” I grinned up at him.

“I do,” he agreed. “I… I’m gonna make this good for you, okay? You’ve gotta let me do that, at least.”

“I know you will,” I said. “That’s why I keep wanting to have sex with you. It’s always good with you.”

Booker sighed, but the look on his face said he wasn’t annoyed at all. It said he thought I was incredible, the best thing he could possibly look at. I didn’t know what I’d done to earn that look, to earn it being directed at me again and again, but I never wanted it to stop.

“You done your research on this, Mr. Librarian?” Booker asked, resting his forehead against mine.

“Obviously,” I said. “Theoretical and practical.”

I’d managed to find time, in the rush, to not only discreetly visit Otter Bay’s very own adult store, but have a helpful conversation with Emily, who worked there and had recommendations and tips. I’d come out with my very own dildo in a rich emerald green swirled with gold shimmer that I could honestly have displayed on my coffee table.

I’d showed it to Joel, who’d approved of my sense of aesthetics and my bravery regarding size.

Honestly, it hadn’t felt all that brave once I’d gotten into it. Imagining it was Booker had helped a lot.

“Practical,” Booker repeated, voice spiking half an octave. “Gonna want to hear about that. Maybe a demonstration.”

“Later,” I said.

“Later,” Booker agreed, kissing me for about a thousandth of the time I wanted him to kiss me for. “Gotta get started on all these buttons,” he added, flicking open the first one on my sweater vest. “Could be here all night with you.”

“Maybe that’s why I have so many buttons,” I said, sharing a smile as he glanced up at my face again.

“I’d take my time with you anyway,” Booker said, eyes flicking from my face down to the buttons again.

And then he made good on that, careful fingers working their way through my sweater vest buttons one by one between pauses for soft kisses that lasted just long enough to make me want more.

I got this, now. I got why people liked it. I was never going to be the kind of person who could just pick up any stranger and enjoy this, but I more than understood the appeal of sex now.