Page 66 of Essence of Fear

“Knowing he made the choice to keep Boris alive and had everyone tell me he was dead … I don’t know what to think about that,” she said, sighing heavily. “Konstantin said it was the sins of the father, and the guilt of a man, no?”

“He did say that.”

“Vadim is not that complex.”

Pav glanced over at her, then, but those dark eyes of his held an intensity she didn’t think she had ever seen from him before. Like he was keeping secrets there and wasn’t willing to share, but they glistened in his eyes at the same time.

“That man is more complex than you know,” he murmured.

Viktoria swallowed hard. “Is he?”

“Not in a good way, babe.”

The endearment left his lips so easily that it kind of shocked her. She was accustomed to the men in her life using Russian endearments for their wives or lovers. She’d been called one a time or two, as well.

But babe …

Never.

And yet, she liked the sound of it coming out of Pav’s mouth. Maybe too much.

“You’re not sleeping well,” he said.

“How do you know that?”

“Besides the fact that your eyes are dimmed and you look tired, someone has noticed your strange habits. They let me know.”

She didn’t ask who.

She didn’t care.

“I have too much on my mind,” she admitted.

“Because of what’s happening back home?”

“What else?”

“I think your brother’s intention in sending you here was so that you wouldn’t have to think about what was happening in Chicago. You’re far away—here, no one can touch you. Not that anyone would get close enough with me here, anyway.”

She couldn’t help it when a smile curved her lips. “Oh?”

“On my life.”

“And just what is that worth, Pav?”

“Pardon?”

“Your life,” she clarified. “What is it worth?”

He cleared his throat, drew his legs up to his chest to rest his arms over his knees, and then peered up at the sky through the canopy of trees. “I am coming to learn everything has worth, even if we’re taught differently. I haven’t settled on my worth … I suspect it’s different for each person who knows me and my view of my worth will never match theirs.”

“Except they don’t matter.”

Pav smirked. “Some do.”

He didn’t say it directly, but when his gaze landed on her again, she knew that he meant her. That how she saw him mattered to him. That her opinion on his worth counted for something where he was concerned.

That felt like a lot to put on her shoulders. Sometimes, she was still terrified of this man, despite the fact he never gave her a reason to be. And sometimes, like now, just staring at him was enough to make her body hot and her mind high.