Page 99 of John + Siena: The Complete Duet

Just not right now.

“I’m sorry, Siena.”

Finally, the goddamn door unlocked, and she pushed it wide open. Siena stepped into her place, and threw her bag aside. She couldn’t get her coat off fast enough, but once she did it too was tossed aside.

Turning around, she found John was still waiting outside in the hallway.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I’m not sure.”

“You’re not sure?”

Her tone came out as a harsh hiss. John winced a bit, but still he didn’t move an inch.

“I’m not sure if you want me to come in,” he said.

Siena shook her head. “Well, I sure as fuck don’t want you standing out there. I don’t think my neighbors care to hear us talk, John.”

“All right.”

Taking careful steps, he came into her place. Yet, he didn’t remove his shoes, jacket, and he didn’t move beyond the entryway once the door was closed behind him. She wasn’t sure if that was because he meant to leave, or perhaps he thought she was going to make him go.

Honestly, she didn’t know what she wanted to do.

“They were just idiots making stupid comments,” she said.

“Maybe,” he replied.

He didn’t sound like he believed it.

“What would happen if tomorrow someone knocked on your door because one of them decided to press charges against you, John?”

He stuffed his hands deep in his pockets, and glanced beyond her. “I suppose—”

“It would be a violation of your probation. I don’t even need you to tell me the details of your probation to know that! Why would you do something like that?”

“A person can’t let shit like that slide, Siena.”

“Yes, you can!”

“Fine, then I can’t let it slide.”

Siena let out a harsh sigh, because at that point, she didn’t know what else to do. His responses to hers were so flippant. Words he tossed out with an indifferent tone, as though it didn’t make a difference to what had happened at all.

“You have to use a bit of judgement, John,” she told him.

John’s laugh came out dark and bitter. “Right, okay. I should let some fucking idiot come up on my girl, and then when he insults her, I should just use judgement to decide whether or not he needs his face fucking broken in. All right, sure.”

For a long while, Siena simply gaped at John like a fool who suddenly forgot how to speak. Mostly, because she didn’t know what in the hell to say to him.

John shrugged. “I get it, Siena, I crossed a line.”

“No, I just …”

She couldn’t figure out what she needed to say to make him understand. The words stuck to her throat like tar.

John came closer, and tipped his hands over like he was offering them to her. It took her all of a breath to reach back. Palms pressed tightly together, and fingers woven, he tugged her to his chest. He pressed his mouth against the top of her head, and held her tight. Neither one of them spoke, but she didn’t have much to say, anyway.