Page 350 of John + Siena: The Complete Duet

EIGHT

Everything was about to change.

Again.

That was most certain, and it also seemed like the only thing Siena could be sure about in her life, now. Her and John would just become settled into some kind of a routine in their marriage—it happened over and over again in the last three years since they said I do—and something would come along to give them a new normal.

Except this couldn’t be the same.

Not at all.

If there was one thing—above all things—about her marriage and John that Siena thought was most important to remember, it was that surprises were not welcomed. Especially if said surprise meant a huge change in their lives, or something that could cause a massive emotional upheaval.

For other people, a change could be a good thing. A little stress, and a bit nerve-racking, sure. They would, however, roll with the punches and accept the change.

For John, though, a change that could and would impact his entire life often led him to overthinking, panicking, and more. It almost guaranteed a hypomanic episode would be on the horizon, and once that was controlled, a short bout of depression to battle.

Siena never blamed him for these things.

She never wished for anything different.

Oh, she loved John.

Every part of him was hers to love.

So as she sat on the edge of the tub in their master bathroom, and stared at the little strip of plastic in her hand … she couldn’t help but think of what this would mean, and what would come of it.

The pregnancy test flashed with the word pregnant.

Over and over.

It had been flashing that for thirty minutes now. Her heart was so full—happiness, trepidation, and joy. A love so fierce, she could hardly breathe. Already, she loved this baby. A child she didn’t know, and would not see or hold for months. A child whose gender was still unknown, and whose name was yet to be picked.

And yet …

God, she loved this baby.

Still, the hesitance she felt was also very real.

Long ago, she and John had decided that children would be a very carefully planned event for them. When both of them were ready, and when everything was handled, then they would move forward together on having children.

This had not been planned at all.

Certainly not carefully.

The terrible chest cold that left Siena with a nasty infection, and led into pneumonia that she couldn’t shake caused her to miss the appointment for her shot. She had been stuck in bed, and then in the hospital when the pneumonia got really bad.

John had barely left her side, of course.

Once she was better, her doctor recommended she wait until her cycle started at least once—as she hadn’t had a period in years since starting the shot—before they started the birth control again. They had been advised to use condoms as a backup method.

Yeah, well …

Her cycle never started. She and John didn’t know what a fucking condom was considering they hadn’t used them since the start of their relationship years ago.

They both knew better.

She knew better.