Page 106 of John + Siena: The Complete Duet

“People can’t know,” John interrupted firmly. “Not in this life. Something like bipolar just makes me a fucking target, or worse, a stain on my family. So, I chose to go to prison instead of getting my disorder put on public record for anybody to know about.”

Why wouldn’t he look at her while he talked?

It bothered Siena in a way she couldn’t explain.

“John.”

He still kept staring at anything but her.

“John, look at me,” Siena pressed.

He did.

She found pain there.

And fear.

“I don’t want you to leave,” she said.

John swallowed hard. “I would understand if—”

“I don’t ever want you to leave. Not because of this. Okay?”

He didn’t answer.

She didn’t back down.

“Okay, John?”

Finally, he said, “Yeah, okay.”

Siena moved closer until she could reach out and touch him. First, it was just her fingertips gliding up his taut arm. His muscles felt like fucking rocks under her touch. Then, she went higher to stroke the cut line of his jaw. Those hazel eyes of his never left her face, but his wariness remained.

“It’s not an all the time thing,” he said. “I’ve gone years without an episode as long as I keep up on my meds, and everything else. Don’t think that—”

“You owe me nothing,” she said, wanting to stop him from going further if he didn’t want to. “Not anything, John. Not an explanation, nothing.”

“It’s a lot to take in, though. I know that.”

“No, it’s you. It’s just another part of who you are, and nothing else. Don’t be ashamed, John. Not with me.”

John’s gaze drifted over her face, and he gave her a little smile. “You’re something else, Siena Calabrese.”

“I’m pretty boring, actually.”

“That’s impossible. You can’t be boring when you’re amazing.”

“Keep sweet talking me, John.”

His grin deepened. “So, that’s it, then? I thought this conversation would end far differently than it did.”

A part of her heart broke for him.

How many people stigmatized something he had no control over? How many had hurt him with ignorant words, and ignorant minds?

She would not be one of them.

Ever.

“Thank you for trusting me,” Siena said.

John stroked his thumb over her cheekbone. “You might be the only person I do trust right now, donna.”

“I promise you always can.”

“I might need a reminder. Just a warning.”

Siena nodded. “Okay.”