Page 136 of Beni

Then, his twin with Marcus.

The other two brothers.

She went last … if only because August didn’t know how she was going to react once she was in that room, and she didn’t want a witness to her pain. Wasn’t it bad enough that she already felt like she was staring down at herself from above, and not really there?

Now, sitting at Beni’s bedside, watching his heavily bandaged chest rise and fall, she was finally starting to come back to reality. If that’s even what she could call this … feeling. Everything became sharp and clear all at once, from her pain, to the thoughts screaming in her mind. For too long, sitting in that waiting room, she felt nothing, her vision cloudy from tears that continued to fall, and her ears feeling like she was underwater.

Someone had cleaned him up—thankfully.

White, crisp sheets covered him.

An IV had been put in his right hand and leads attached to his chest kept the heart monitor on the other side of the bed beating with a steady sound. All was well. It looked good, including him in his deep sleep, face relaxed, and unconcerned that his bandages appeared as though they would need to be changed again soon.

The room still smelled of bleach.

Joe helped with that.

Seemed he knew how to clean up blood …

She didn’t ask how or why.

There wasn’t much to see in the space, and even the bed Beni rested on wasn’t really a standard, issue hospital bed. It was one of those hard, rubbery pedestal beds one would find in their family doctor’s office. Not at all meant for healing, or a restful sleep, but as she had been told time and time again … they were making do with what they had.

Doing what they could.

She wasn’t the only one unhappy about that.

Beni’s mother didn’t like this, either, but Cara was a lot louder than August about it. If only because she could be, maybe, where as August didn’t think her opinion counted for very much where these made men were concerned.

Letting those thoughts, and her constant worries, drift away so that she could focus on Beni and the present, she slipped her hand under his. Careful not to squeeze, just in case she did something to his IV, she settled herself on holding his hand, and taking those few moments to herself before someone came to interrupt it.

“You know, I don’t think he would mind if you took a moment to rest.”

August glanced toward the door, finding Marcus leaning there. “I can’t sleep.”

She tried.

“Hmm. He’s going to be fine.”

“So everyone keeps saying.”

She believed them, too.

It was just hard right now.

Marcus pushed away from the doorjamb, taking a single step into the room as he took a second to look over his younger brother in the bed. “Funny this happened now—six months ago, a year ago … if someone called me and said Beni had been shot, I wouldn’t have been surprised. Him and Bene, they’re reckless and wild. Never could keep them under control, you know? Especially not when they were together and feeding off one another.”

He sighed, folding his arms over his chest as he added, “And then he went to Chicago, calmed down a bit, and this was not the call I expected to happen. Not for him, anyway.”

Beni was still wild, she thought.

Maybe not crazy wild, like Marcus suggested, but just enough for her. All she had to do was think back to their time together—how he could make anything fun as long as he wanted to do it. The way he made split second decisions or chased the idea of a good time just because. The club, carnival, and even the other night in the pool …

All of it.

That was Beni.

Beni was fun.