Page 104 of Vow

“Nothing is ever a mistake, Haven,” her mom was quick to say. “Love is not ever a mistake.”

Haven felt that familiar prickling behind her eyes. The telltale sign her tears were about to make another show of themselves, the fucking things. She hated crying. She was so sick and goddamn tired of crying.

Hadn’t she done enough of that?

“Love can’t be a mistake when it’s one of the few things in life that can change us irrevocably in a second, Haven,” her mother said. “Love is a lot of things, but a mistake is not one of them.”

“Feels like it right now.”

“Because you’re hurting. That’s not the same.”

Haven let out a shaky breath of air. “He just comes from a different world than me, Mom. There’s a wall there that I can’t get over, and every time I tried, I ended up a little more broken when I fell. I’m tired of falling. I don’t fall. I climb.”

“Oh, Haven.”

“What?”

She hated the pity in her mother’s voice. The sadness there. This was exactly why she didn’t want to bring Andino up to her parents. They loved her so much. And it didn’t matter what she did, or what she chose for her life … they were going to say, go on, girl, and live your best life. Be your best person. Be happy.

Because they were wonderful.

She did not deserve them.

“How are you ever to learn if all you do is succeed?” Mae asked softly. “We learn best when we are challenged, and when everything seems the most impossible … when we are able to drag ourselves broken and bleeding out of despair, that is when we become the best version of who we are. You can only be a fraction of that person if the only thing you’ve ever done is succeed. Why would you think love was any different?”

“Love shouldn’t hurt, Mom.”

“Maybe not,” her mother agreed. “But love is crazy, dolly. Love is unlike anything else, and it is worth a second chance. It is worth pain, and hurt, and everything else that comes along with it if you can still drag your broken and bleeding body out of the rubble it leaves behind. When the fire finally goes out, and all that’s left is ash, what does the Phoenix do, Haven?”

“Mom.”

“What does it do?”

“It rises.”

“It rises,” her mom echoed. “And so does love, and so will you. If that’s what you want.”

Because it was her choice, she realized. Her choice to go back, and ask why. To finally give him that chance to explain. To decide to leave the rubble alone, or with him.

Except … none of that mattered.

Today was the day.

That date written on the wedding invitation. The day he was no longer hers.

“It’s too late,” Haven said.

Mae laughed softly. “Haven, it is never too late.”

• • •

Haven had never been a Sunday service, church dress, big hat kind of women. Sure, she believed in God. She had faith in a higher power, and trusted that at the end of someone’s days, the good went where they were intended to go, and those who were bad went where they deserved to spend eternity, too.

But organized religion?

Praying every day?

Church on Sundays?