Page 122 of Captivated

He wasn’t sure he heard her right.

Turning a bit to stare at Liliana, he asked, “Pardon?”

“I said,” she clarified louder, “I’m sorry, Joe.”

“Why?”

He wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for, or even why. He didn’t think she had anything to apologize for, really. None of this was her fault. He thought she already knew that.

“For me and you,” she muttered. “Us, and this, I guess. I’m sorry.”

Joe blinked. “I still don’t know where you’re going with this.”

And he had the distinct feeling he wasn’t going to like it, either.

She waved between them, although she never lifted her gaze to look at him. He probably hated that the most, but didn’t have time to think on it for long when she was already moving onto the next thing, and speaking again.

“This … us,” she said again, “it’s a little confusing for me. Relationships, maybe. I never really had one of those before—not a serious one, you know what I mean?”

Joe shrugged. “Sure, me either.”

Liliana did glance up at that, and her gaze met his with an intensity that had him stilling in place when she asked, “Really, never?”

“Nope.”

“Oh.”

“I guess I just never found someone I wanted to have that with …” Joe trailed off before adding quieter, “Until you, that is.”

Liliana peered down at her twisting hands. A nervous tic he recognized that she did whenever words were failing her, and she was struggling to come up with the right thing to say. He wished she wouldn’t do that at all—but hey, she was talking, and that was something different than she had been doing for far too long.

He wasn’t about to ruin it.

Not by pushing her.

“The one man I thought did love me in a romantic way ended up hurting me,” Liliana said, “and I think that still fucks with my head a lot. And then I get this stuff about you shoveled onto me, too, and it’s not the Joe I knew, or the one I met. It’s not the one who came to my place at night, or the man who watched me dance. It’s not the one who made me feel safe, or perfect.”

Joe swallowed hard.

He made her feel perfect.

She should feel perfect.

“You are perfect,” Joe murmured.

Liliana looked up again, but a line of water had dampened her gaze. “Except it is the same man, isn’t it? The things you do, who you are, and then what you are with me—it’s all the same person, just in different shades of your life.”

Joe nodded.

What else could he do?

“I give myself whiplash trying to figure out how I feel,” Liliana said sadly.

Joe chuckled. “Me, too.”

“I don’t mean to.”

“It’s okay,” he assured. “Only one thing really matters to me at the end of the day, Tesoro.”