Page 80 of Disgrace

Leonard tapped his watch with one finger, but never took his gaze away from John. “You allow me to do that for you. Sometimes, a break is good for you. I’m the one who—regardless of what is happening in your life—makes you take a moment to step back, objectify things around you, and relax.”

“I don’t find our sessions very relaxing.”

Hard.

Sometimes irritating.

Often, invasive.

Leonard smirked. “Then explain to me why you’ve just spent the last fifteen minutes in a far calmer, less jittery place than you were when you walked in.”

Shit.

“Well …”

“It’s fine to say that this is your safe place, John. We all have one, you know? Mine tends to be high in the sky, amongst the clouds.”

“You’re not my only safe place,” John said. “I have others.”

“Who?”

“My cousin, for one.”

“Andino.”

John’s lip curled back at Andino’s name. Clearly, he was still sore over their fight a few days before. Leonard didn’t miss it.

“Is there trouble with your cousin?”

“I think he’s causing problems to further his own agenda, and I’m not very fond of the way he’s going about it.”

“And so, you’re too irritated with him to let your emotional guard down.”

“You make me sound pathetic.”

Leonard chuckled. “Far from it. I could not imagine what it must feel like to be you, John. To be constantly stuck in a high-intensity emotional headspace twenty-four-seven. To feel things much faster, and more extremely, than those around me. And yet, you do it every day, and handle yourself all the while. That’s admirable, not pathetic.”

Well, then.

“Mmm, your woman, too, I suppose,” Leonard added after a moment.

John scrubbed a hand down his unshaven jaw—making a mental note to shave. “What about her?”

“She’s a safe place for you, too.”

“More so than anyone else.”

Understatement.

“So you do have places you can go where you do not have to be on edge at every waking second,” the man said.

“She’s not around very much at the moment, so no, I’m stuck with—”

“Me,” Leonard interrupted with a grin.

Again, the man tapped his watch. John didn’t know what he was getting at.

“We’ll add an extra hour onto the two sessions a week you already do, and add a third session on Wednesdays to break up your week.”