Page 48 of Disgrace

John leaned back in the chair, and stared at his mother, waiting. “Go on.”

“Cella is … still very angry, John. She needs someone—something—to blame right now, and she’s shooting for the easiest targets she can find.”

“Me, you mean.”

Jordyn blew out a shaky breath. “She doesn’t mean the things she says, and she’s so confused with how she feels.”

“Of course.” John shrugged. “Her husband is dead—a violent death. She’s left with a young baby to take care of alone. Hell, she married a man unaffiliated to the mob, and even that wasn’t enough to keep her from being punished for this life. I get it, Ma, really. I’ll keep my distance, and let her grieve. I don’t need to be showing up and making her uncomfortable or anything. Don’t worry about it.”

“You don’t have—”

“It’s fine,” he said firmly. “Really.”

Jordyn smiled, and nodded once. Reaching over, she patted the top of John’s hand with her own. “Someday, your sisters will see the man you are now, is not the boy you used to be, John. It’s been hard for them to separate their emotions from all the things that happened while they were growing up. Give them time, okay?”

John shook his head. “I don’t think they’ll ever be one hundred percent good with me, Ma. And that’s okay—I get that, too. I wasn’t good to them, and you can’t shake that kind of shit off. It’s a long history to work through, and they might never work through it. I don’t expect anything from my sisters.”

“I do, though,” his mom said.

John smiled, leaned over, and cupped his mother’s cheek. She smiled at the affectionate touch, and he felt guilty that he had not asked for his mother to visit him more during his time away. She loved him so much—she always had.

“I know you do, Ma, but don’t push them to do something that they can’t. I understand, and that’s what’s most important.”

Jordyn sniffed, and patted her hand over top John’s gently. “I’m happy you’re home again.”

“Me, too.”

“I’m proud of you, John.”

“You’re always proud of me, Ma.”

Jordyn laughed. “You still need reminders.”

He did.

He loved her for that, too.

CHAPTER SEVEN

“KEV AND DARREN aren’t going to be following us around all day?” Greta asked.

Siena gave the older of her two half-sisters an amused look. “You know, it would benefit you greatly to tone down the attitude when you use one of their names. Not because you have to like them, but because a little respect will go a long way with those two.”

Greta cocked a brow. “But I don’t respect them.”

“Yeah, I got that. Me, either.”

“I don’t get your point, then.”

Siena grabbed her bag from inside the hall closet, and skipped over a light cardigan or jacket. It was still boiling hot, even at the end of July. She didn’t need to be adding extra layers at the moment.

Turning to face the seventeen-year-old, Siena said, “But you like having a little bit of freedom, don’t you?”

“You call being taken from my school, and shoved into a private school freedom? Or losing my mom, and being forced to live with my aunt freedom? How about the fact I can’t even go to the movies with friends because one of them is a guy? That’s not freedom, Siena.”

No, it wasn’t.

Not normal freedom, anyway.