Page 28 of Disgrace

He needed it now.

“Dante wanted this feud between our families to be settled peacefully,” Lucian said.

“Someone mentioned that to me already. I’m not sure what methods he used for that, though.”

“An attempt to arrange a marriage, actually.”

John stiffened in his seat, and his gaze flew to his father. “What?”

“You heard me,”

He didn’t like what that implied. There was really only one Calabrese woman worthy of marrying into the Marcello family, or rather, one woman that Dante would consider worthy in the grand scheme.

Siena.

“He didn’t—”

“It was not your woman,” Lucian muttered. “Relax.”

John did not realize how stiff his body had become in those few seconds, or how firmly he had gritted his teeth until relief flowed through his body. Sweet like sugar, the sensation washed through his bloodstream. His molars ached when they released from the tight clench. He found crescent shaped marks on the insides of his palms from how tightly he clenched his fists together, too.

Jesus Christ.

“It was not Siena,” Lucian repeated. “And the details do not matter, honestly. What matters is that the deal failed, and the violence escalated from there. We had in good faith information about an attack that would happen on one of our warehouses, but it did not happen.”

“That’s a good thing, then.”

“It is, except when one does not go through, it is usually because another bigger, better one is coming. The only major event we have going on as a family right now is—”

“Andi’s wedding.”

Lucian nodded. “Exactly, son. Mind you, we have been very careful about releasing details regarding the wedding. The main event is not an open invitation to famiglia. The party afterward at the Astoria is, but it’s very public, there will be a large crowd.”

“And you said it’s well protected.”

“That, too, yes.”

“But you’re still concerned.”

“We all are,” Lucian said quietly. “These are dangerous days, John.”

And for what?

Because of him.

John still didn’t regret what he did when he killed Matteo Calabrese. He would never regret any of that, but he hadn’t wanted this. He didn’t want his family to suffer again because of him.

“I’m sorry.”

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, and this is only a passing moment in all of our lives. We have lived through worse, and we will live through this. There is always something beautiful waiting at the end. What is it you want when you get to the end, John?”

Well …

“Siena,” he admitted. “But that’s a little fucking impossible, isn’t it?”

Lucian looked over at John. “Keep your fucking chin up, and your eyes on the prize, John. Marcellos don’t look down.”

“Not unless we’re looking down on somebody, right?”