Page 163 of Disgrace

“To get the drinks,” Andino said, flashing him a grin. Coming close to John, his cousin pulled him in for a one-armed hug. “You look good, man.”

“I better.”

Andino laughed. “Don’t pump that ego up too big, huh?”

“Too late.”

“It’s a Marcello thing.”

That was the excuse they all used.

Nothing ever changed.

“I have to go grab something from Haven, but I’ll be back,” Andino told him.

John nodded. “Sure, man.”

Once Andino was gone from the room, John took a seat beside his father. Lucian gave him a small smile all the while patting his granddaughter’s bottom in a rhythmic fashion to keep her asleep.

Things with Cella weren’t necessarily better, but they weren’t horrible, either. At least, his sister could stand to be in the same room with him, and didn’t make it her second job to glare at him. She was still grieving, though, and so John opted to keep his distance.

Time would heal wounds.

After all, time had healed his wounds.

Well, time and Siena.

“You know I’m proud of you, don’t you?” Lucian asked quietly.

John nodded. “I know, Dad.”

He reached over and stroked the sleeping baby’s cheek.

“She’s precious,” Lucian said. “I thought very little would compare to when my children were born, but let me say, grandchildren are something else entirely. I look forward to having more, and soon.”

His father gave him a pointed look.

John rolled his eyes. “Not even trying to be sly.”

“I have moved beyond that stage in my life. It doesn’t get me what I want.”

“Children are not on the table for a while.”

Lucian frowned. “Why not?”

John shrugged, but didn’t offer any information as to how much the thought of children terrified him to his core. He still struggled with the idea of passing on a life that sometimes felt like a punishment, rather than simply a difference.

“Ah,” Lucian said like he could read John’s mind.

John cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“You still think about that genetics test we did years ago, don’t you?”

“And the information you found about Lina.”

Lina being his father’s biological mother.

Lucian cleared his throat. “And yet, despite the fact she was bipolar, all I remember about my mother is how beautiful, loving, and wonderful she was, John.”