Page 102 of Disgrace

Yeah, Siena was keeping count, now. It was yet another way she had found to get through her days without John, and the time in between seeing him again. Marking off days in her mind was like a challenge of sorts—could they see each other sooner this time around than the last time?

Silly, sure.

It kept her going.

“When did you get here?” she asked.

Siena had the slightest feeling he had been there for longer than it took him to wake her up, and crawl into her bed.

“Long enough to make a coffee, and take my meds,” he said. “It’s four in the morning—go back to sleep, amore.”

“Did you pick the lock again?”

Because he hadn’t changed it like he said he would. This was the first time he had actually gotten back to her apartment since that first time after he got out of the facility. Things were always getting in the damn way.

So was their life.

“Yes,” he said, “and I came in the back way with the extra building key you gave me. Now, stop talking, and go to sleep.”

“But when I wake up, you’re going to have to go.”

“Sleep,” he said again. “I’ll be here.”

Surrounded by John, his warmth, darkness, and soft sheets, Siena really didn’t need to be told again. John’s fingers stroked a gentle path up and down her naked spine, which was enough to make her close her eyes. The sensation sent her off to dreamland in seconds.

John’s voice followed right behind. “I’ll be here.”

The next time Siena woke up, sunlight had filtered through the bedroom through the break in the curtains. Warm rays streaked lines over her naked back, and dust particles danced in the stream of light; her gaze followed the amusing sight.

“I need to dust,” she said.

The form she was resting on started to chuckle. The sound rocked them both on the bed, and made her smile even wider.

“Did you pull me onto you, or did I climb on?” Siena asked.

“A little bit of both,” John replied in a murmur.

“Huh.”

“And you do need to dust.”

Siena laughed, and tipped her head back to stare at John. He had sat higher on her bed to rest his back against the headboard. He looked entirely relaxed sitting there watching her—like this was the one place he was meant to be, and the only place he wanted to be.

Siena supposed it was.

Or she hoped it was.

And maybe, had the circumstances been different in their lives, they could have already been well into the start of their own life.

Together.

She pushed those sad thoughts away. It wasn’t the time for them, and it wouldn’t do her any good. Besides, she had John with her right now, and that was all that mattered to her. It was all she needed to make her whole day brighter.

“I’ve been busy,” she admitted, “and for the record, I didn’t even live here for months. Nobody lived here. I only got to come here once in a while if I needed to grab something specific, and I wasn’t allowed to stay. Kev and Darren didn’t want me getting any ideas about coming back to my apartment, you know.”

John’s gaze hardened momentarily—it always did that whenever she brought up how controlled her life was—but he still managed to offer her a smile. It didn’t reach his eyes, but he tried. “I guess you can be excused, then.”

“Geeze, thanks.”