Page 110 of The Arrangement

She seemed to react best to his hand trailing along the curve in her waist down to her hip and back up again. Snuggling deeper into the nest of blankets and pillows that she’d created, her face hid from his view as she groaned.

“Oh, God. It fucking hurts.”

Anton flinched. “I know. Second day out of any kind of recovery is always the worst. That’s when it catches up to you the most. You’re going to take that morphine at the dosage they recommend today, right? It’s not the time to be acting like a hero because you think you need to.”

Finally, Viviana’s head peeked up over the blanket. Her eyes locked on his like heat seeking missiles. The grin that split his lips matched hers.

“Hey, baby.”

Viviana sighed. “You’re here.”

“Yeah. Man of my word. Always.”

Her IV clad hand reached out and smacked him on the injured shoulder with a force he didn’t expect from someone who’d lain in bed for the last day, was medicated, and just barely survived a bomb blast. Goddamn that fucking hurt. Anton couldn’t even try to hide his yelp of pain or the way he jerked away from her, scared for a possible second hit.

“What the hell was that for?”

Her gaze narrowed. “What did you do?”

A lump formed that he swallowed back.

“Don’t make me lie, Viviana. Don’t ask me those questions. It’s over, that’s all that matters, now. When we leave here, we’re going home.” He had to give her credit, she didn’t cry. “Love you, hmm?”

“You could have called me yesterday, Anton. I was a downright mess here without you.”

“You muddle me up,” he replied just as quiet.

“What?”

“Muddle me up,” Anton repeated, shrugging. “Like crazy in ways I can’t explain. Fucks with my head and heart. You make me go into a different headspace. It’s not a bad place, but it’s your place. I’m not going to wreck and ruin that with crap.”

“Not an excuse.”

“Still love you.” She blinked away from his face, but he was quick to lean close enough that his lips brushed over hers when Anton murmured, “Say it back. Tell me good morning. Ask me for a kiss. Anything, Viviana. I’ve missed you something awful. And I feel terrible. I know you wanted me here, and I’m sorry I wasn’t.”

“Did you get Ivan’s message?”

Anton leaned back in his chair. “I did.”

“And?”

“I don’t agree, but you’re right, it’s not my decision to make. I said he was yours.”

“Don’t agree—”

“No,” he interjected calmly. “Rocco did just what he needed to do. Do I think it’s fair to let him suffer out the next year or two because I’m too selfish of a man that I don’t want to say goodbye for my own sake? Absolutely not. But, I’m not you, either.”

Tears did well up in her gaze that time. “That’s not fair.”

“I know, but that’s it. That’s the truth. Sucks, but it’s honest.”

The silence that covered the room felt heavier than he wanted it to. That wasn’t how Anton planned for her to wake up, not to mention feel.

“Eat something, hmm? They’re going to be in soon to change your bandages.”

Viviana scowled at the mention of food. “Not hungry right now.”

“If you’re being difficult because of Rocco, that nonsense can stop right now.”