Page 10 of The Villainess Chose Naps Over Death Flags

"That's—" Carol's brain short-circuited. "That's horrifying. That's MORE horrifying than if he'd called her out on it."

"The Butcher of the North is known to be unkillable," Missy chimed in cheerfully. "Poison, weapons, magic—nothing works! It's actually pretty cool."

"It's TERRIFYING," Carol corrected. "NPC Caroline tried to poison my husband, and he just... drank it anyway?"

"To be fair," Lumi said carefully, "he's been very... patient with her. Considering."

"Considering Caroline TRIED TO POISON HIM."

"And the other incidents," Lumi added.

Carol didn't want to know. She really didn't want to know. "What other incidents?"

"Caroline's been very vocal about her feelings for Earl Sinclair. To anyone who will listen. Including the Duke."

"Oh god."

"She's been cruel to most of the household staff," Lumi continued. "The maids are terrified of her. The butler avoids her. The cook once cried because Caroline threw a plate at her when the soup was too cold."

Carol felt her face burning with shame for actions she didn't commit but was now responsible for. "She threw a plate at the cook?"

"The cook ducked. It hit the wall." Lumi's voice was small. "Only Caroline's two personal maids from her family estate still seem loyal—Daisy and Millie. They came with her when she married and moved here. Everyone else thinks she's..." She trailed off.

"A monster," Carol finished flatly.

"I was going to say 'difficult,'" Lumi said diplomatically.

Carol sat down on the edge of her enormous bed, her mind racing. This was worse than she thought. She wasn't just dealing with death flags from the game's plot—she was dealing with two months of Caroline actively choosing to make everything exponentially worse.

And there was no comfort in saying "she couldn't help it." Caroline COULD have helped it. She had guidance available. She had warnings. She chose to ignore them.

"Okay," she said, taking a deep breath. "Okay. I can work with this."

"You can?" Lumi sounded surprised and hopeful.

"I spent six years in corporate hell," Carol said, her voice taking on the determined tone she used to use before big presentations. "I know how to navigate hostile work environments. I know how to fix damaged professional relationships. I know how to turn around a terrible reputation." She stood up, starting to pace. "This is just... workplace politics with better benefits and much higher stakes."

"Workplace politics?" Missy echoed, confused.

Carol started counting on her fingers. "Goal One: Fix my marriage and get into my husband's good graces. He's basically my boss now, right? The most powerful person in my immediate environment. I need him on my side." She moved to the next finger. "Goal Two: Fix my public image. Apologize to the staff, make amends, show I've changed. Basic reputation management." Third finger. "Goal Three: Avoid Percival and his lover at all costs. Stay away from the original plot. Don't interfere with the hero's journey."

Lumi stared at her, her golden glow brightening with hope. "That's... actually a solid plan."

"It's a TERRIBLE plan!" Missy protested. "What about revenge? What about making Percival jealous? What about chaos and drama and—"

"What about NOT GETTING EXECUTED?" Carol interrupted. "Missy, I have a TWO PERCENT survival chance. Two. Percent. Do you know what that means?"

The devil sprite crossed her tiny arms. "It means you're doomed?"

"It means I have nothing to lose by making different choices than Caroline did!" Carol turned back to Lumi. "You said the Duke has been patient. That's good. That means there's room to improve the relationship. I just need to..." She paused. "Actually, what IS he like? Besides unkillable and terrifying?"

Lumi tilted her head thoughtfully. "The Duke is... quiet. Reserved. He doesn't show much emotion. He spends most of his time managing the Frostmarch defenses against The Blight, training his soldiers, or handling ducal business. He's extremely powerful and very intelligent."

"Does he hate me—hate Caroline?"

"I don't think he hates her," Lumi said carefully. "I think he's just... resigned to an unfortunate situation. He didn't want this marriage either. Caroline trapped him with that seduction spell meant for Earl Sinclair."

Carol felt a pang of sympathy for both of them. "Right. The accidental seduction. That's going to be fun to work around."