Page 262 of Show Me

“I need you to understand something.” My voice drops lower. “I wasn’t scared of being in a relationship with you.” She tilts her head. “I was scared of ruining it.”

I swallow hard. “When my mom left....” Even now the words feel strange. “I didn’t even have a driver’s license yet.” I stare past Ruby. “I remember everybody telling me it wasn’t my fault.” A humorless smile tugs at my mouth. “But she packed a suitcase.” I shrug once. “And then she was just....”

Gone. I can’t say the word without choking on it, so I leave it in the air. What fucking parent leaves their child and never comes back?

“She didn’t just leave my dad.” My eyes meet Ruby’s again. “She left me.”

She bites her bottom lip but doesn’t say anything, as if she understands I need to get everything out so we can move forward.

I drag my hand through my hair. “I kept wondering what I could’ve done differently. What would’ve made her stay? What would’ve made me enough? I never figured it out.”

“I know this isn’t my fault, but I’m sorry you went through that.” Ruby places her hand on my chest above my heart. “You didn’t do anything wrong. You were a kid. None of that had anything to do with you and everything to do with your mother.”

“I know that now.” I squeeze her hand in mine.

She’d never do something like that to her child. Our child. I don’t question that for one second, and I never did. Ruby is the most sincere and loyal person I’ve ever known. She’d move heaven and earth for the people she cared about.

I take a steady breath, relieved that explaining everything to her is easier than I expected.

“A couple of months later, my girlfriend cheated on me. She came up to me in between second and third period and said I wasn’t the same anymore. I was too depressing to be around. She’s already found someone else.”

Ruby's eyes fill.

“I started believing maybe I was just....” The common denominator. “The guy people eventually leave. So I made sure I never gave anyone else the chance.”

The words hang in the room. Ugly. Embarrassing. True.

“When you came along....” A laugh slips out. “I never stood a chance. For years, I kept you at a distance. Never flirting with you. Keeping you in the friend zone so I wouldn’t cross a line.”

She smiles through her tears. “And then, you screwed that up.”

“I couldn’t help it. You looked so lost trying to figure out which color of white paint to get.”

“I wasn’t lost.” She cocks her head sideways, giving me that smile I can’t live without. “I knew what I was doing.”

“Of course you did.” I rub my thumb along the back of her hand as I wrap my free arm around her waist, pulling her closer. “I tried telling myself you were just fun. Temporary. Somebody I liked spending time with. I kept making rules.”

“Those rules sucked, by the way.”

“Yeah, I know. But I thought if I never crossed that line...” I gesture helplessly between us. “...then I couldn’t lose you.”

“Xavier–”

“Let me finish.” Another rough breath leaves me. “The problem was I’d already fallen in love with you. Long before admitting it to myself. Before the hardware store. Before the kitchen. Before the baby. But I didn’t think I was somebody worth staying for.”

Ruby cups my face in both hands. Warm. Steady. Her thumbs brush lightly beneath my eyes, catching a tear before it streaks down my cheek. “I’m still here.”

Three words. That’s all it takes. Every lie I’ve spent years telling myself… that people always leave, that love always ends, that I was never enough, starts cracking apart.

“I pushed you away,” I whisper.

“And I’m still here.”

My eyes close. Not because I’m trying to hide. Because I physically can’t hold her gaze another second without losing it.

A laugh catches in my throat. Half relief. Half disbelief.

When I open my eyes, I wrap my arms around her waist, pulling her to me until there’s no beginning and ending between us. “I love you, Ruby.” No walls. No jokes. No place left to hide. “I love you so damn much.”