Page 106 of Holding Ground

I press my teeth together to keep my emotions from welling up. Kids have this innate ability to simplify things down to their core.

Baylor has no idea what’s about to happen, and I wish I could sweep her up and take her away.

Kate draws her into a hug. “You’re such a special little girl, Baylor.” She dips her head down, and I hear Kate catch her breath. “I’m going to miss you.”

When she pulls away, Baylor hops off the couch. “Wait here.”

She runs from the room, and I can tell by the sound of her footsteps that she’s gone into her bedroom. Kate raises her gaze to mine.

I shrug. “No idea.”

When Baylor returns a short time later, she has one of her Barbies in her hand. “This is the Barbie you really liked when we played with them. You should have it, and you can play with it when you miss me.”

Kate’s face almost breaks, but I see her attempt to control her reaction. “That is really sweet and thoughtful. Thank you.”

Baylor tips her chin up, satisfied.

Kate gets up off the couch and makes her way to the front door to put her shoes back on.

Baylor looks at me. “Daddy, can we go outside and say goodbye?”

“Sure thing.”

The two of us put our shoes on and follow Kate out to her car. Kate gives Baylor a big hug before she gets in her vehicle, then gives me a wave, which I return. I watch Kate wipe tears from her face as she starts the car, and Baylor slips her little hand into mine.

She holds my hand in the driveway, waving with her free one as her mom reverses down the driveway. “I think my mom was sad to leave.”

“I think so too.”

Kate beeps twice when she reaches the road, then we watch until her car disappears out of view.

“How do you feel about your mom leaving?” I lead Baylor back into the house.

She frowns for a minute and seems to really consider the question in a way that seems beyond her years. “I’m sad. But I’m happy I got to see her.”

I ruffle the hair on top of her head. “I think that makes a lot of sense.” I bend down and pick her up, needing to hold on to my little girl. “You know that you can always talk to me about how you’re feeling, right?”

“I know that, Daddy.”

“Okay, good. I have some things to do around the house this morning, but how about we head into town and get one of your favorite steamers from the café this afternoon?”

Baylor kisses my cheek. Then something more solemn passes over her face.

“Kiddo, what is it?”

“Daddy, how come Emelia’s not back yet?”

Hearing her name lands like a hand pressed to a wound.

I fucked this up for us. I was too much in my head when Kate returned, and that scared Emelia. Of course it would. She’s told me how many times she’s always felt like she didn’t fit. But she did fit, right here with Baylor and me. I was just too lost in everything going on to reassure her of that until she wrapped those walls around herself to keep me out. Protection from not wanting her heart broken. God, if anyone can understand that, it’s me.

I haven’t told Baylor that Emelia left, but she’s old enough to realize that if Emelia’s car isn’t in the driveway, she’s not here. My guess is that she was reminded of Emelia’s absence when we were outside.

“I’m not sure, but I’m hoping she’s back soon.”

“Me too.”

I don’t know where Emelia went, but I know one thing for certain. I’ll find her if she doesn’t find me first. I’m not letting her go without a fight.