Page 54 of The Way Love Heals

“Thank you, Doctor.”

“That’s what I’m here for. Now, I’m going to call you after my lunch, and you better be on your way to the people who love you. I’m scheduling us another session for this week, and we will continue with weekly sessions. We’ll go back to what we used to do to get you where you need to be again. Sound good?”

“It does.”

We ended the call, and I shut my laptop. I tossed the covers off me and went to find my phone. I’d dropped all my stuff at the door and hadn’t touched it since. After placing it on the charger, I headed to the bathroom to handle my hygiene. Just smelling the toothpaste gave me a boost.

I’d rented a spot back home for a few days. To me, it was crazy that home was the place I went back to. It was the one place that held haunting memories, but it allowed me to also visit the one spot that used to bring me peace. Going there was the only time I left my spot. I’d go out there and sit for hours. The peace it brought me was similar to what Brittish gave me, but hers was far more powerful. I could only imagine how it would be to have her there with me.

The spot was across the street from the baseball stadium. At night, I could hear the games. When I wasn’t lost in my thoughts, I’d listen to them. It helped me focus on something I loved, something that Renee tried taking from me but couldn’t.

In my heart, I knew I had to forgive her. If I didn’t, it would be a disservice to myself. I would be holding myself back from living a full life again, and I refused to allow that to happen. What she admitted was what I needed to hear, but it was tough to swallow. It’d take time, but I’d be able to do so.

My thoughts drifted to my grandmother and siblings. Guilt started eating at me for leaving them. I wasn’t the only one affected by Renee. They were too. I could only imagine how they felt knowing she’d touched me too. I could only imagine how Brielle felt for beating on her. Nannie had done it before, so I figured it wouldn’t affect her as much. Maybe physically, but I knew it was mental and emotional for Brielle.

Then again, maybe it wasn’t.

After I moisturized my body and put some clothes on, I went to check my phone. I had over fifty messages with most of them being in our family group chat. I didn’t bother reading them. They could wait. The one text I had from Brittish was what caught my attention. I halfway expected her to blow my phone up like my family had, but then again, she knew me. She knew I needed time, and it was obvious she respected it. I wasn’t saying that my family didn’t, but Brittish and I had a different understanding. Our connection was deeper.

I opened her message and felt myself getting emotional.

Pretty Lady:

I love you. I miss you. I understand all of this is hard on you, but I want you to know I am here. There’s no need in you being alone when you have people who want to surround you with love. It’s day two of not hearing from you, not seeing you, not feeling you, and it’s driving me crazy. As badly as I want to be in your presence, all I need is a simple text, letting me know you’re okay. I’m only going to give you so much time before I come find you, Nyle. And when I do, I’m not leaving. So, let me know something, even if it’s a thumbs up. I love you.

She didn’t fuss.

She didn’t break up with me.

She didn’t blame me.

Brittish simply wanted to know I was good while letting me know she was with me. I believed her when she said she would come find me. The last thing I ever wanted was her to chase after me, but it felt good knowing that she would. I wasn’t about to give her the chance to do so.

Before I headed back to Maven Falls, I needed to go visit my spot one last time. I figured once I went home and made my presence known, it would be a while before I had any time to myself again. I didn’t mind. Being surrounded by love was exactly what I needed.

I grabbed my keys and left. The distance to my spot wasn’t far from where I was staying, so I chose to walk and enjoy the weather. While it was hot as hell, I needed the fresh air. As I walked, I could feel my spirits rising. I spoke to people who spoke to me and kept my head high. I was passing by a floral shop, and something told me to stop and grab some flowers. Of course, I picked something with Brittish in mind, something nice and vibrant. I held onto them like my life depended on it, wondering why I had the urge to buy them.

Sweat trickled down my face as I hiked up the dirt hill to my destination. When I made it to the top, I sat down on the grass and looked ahead.

One night, after losing a game and not mentally being in a good headspace, I didn’t go straight home. I took off walking and stumbled upon this place after following a few people who were talking about it. The immediate calmness I felt sitting so high up and looking over the city did something to me, so I made it a ritual to go there whenever I was feeling down. Being there felt nostalgic, but in a good way.

Suddenly, the peace I felt strengthened. My body relaxed more. My heart beat in a steady rhythm. It was followed by my nostrils flaring, trying to deeply inhale the enticing scent of vanilla that drove me crazy. For a moment, I thought I was crazy. All my senses heightened thinking Brittish was around, but there was no way she knew where I was.

Or did she?

She had to because I felt her. Her presence was far too strong for her not to be near me. Picking up the flowers, I rose to my feet and turned around just as she came into view. With each step that she got closer to me, I blinked in disbelief. I couldn’t believe she’d driven hours away to me when that was what I was supposed to do for her. That was what I was going to do for her, but somehow, she beat me to it.

Our eyes met. Brittish froze in place with her hands resting on her hips as her chest heavily rose and fell. Her hair was in a messy bun, and her pretty face was bare. The red rim around her eyes sent a twinge of guilt to my heart. There was no doubt in my mind they were like that because of me. I could only imagine how my disappearance affected her.

Making my way to her, I immediately engulfed her frame with mine when I was close enough. I didn’t care that we were both sweaty and probably hot. Three days was far too long for us to be apart, and my heart felt every bit of the pain from missing her. It was on me. I knew that, but the distance made the heart grow fonder.

Would I ever do anything like that again?

Hell no.

“I’m sorry for leaving you, Brittish,” I whispered and kissed the top of her head before pulling back to look at her. “I was messed up. I thought I needed the space, but having you right here with me now . . . I missed you so much. It’s crazy how I could feel you coming close to me before I could see you. The type of peace that washed over me was unreal, man. I’d be stupid to ever deprive myself of that again.”

Brittish reached up and brushed a few stray hairs that were sticking to my forehead. “You know me better than that to know I understand, Nyle. I understand how you operate when things get heavy. We’ve had this conversation before, but three days was too damn long for me. You didn’t send me a text or anything, so I was worried. I worried you were drowning and wasn’t saying anything. If it wasn’t for Naheem figuring out where you were and sending me here, I wouldn’t have known, but I damn sure would have figured out.”