Page 82 of Sterling Heat

Enya looks at me with dark eyes swirling with questions. I wish I had answers. I wish I could predict the future, instead of this living-in-the-moment attitude. She wants promises and I want to give them to her, but I don’t know if I can.

For now, I promised I’d try. And I’d never hurt her.

That means I need to keep my feelings in check. My doubts aren’t about her. They’re about me.

And now isn’t the time to tackle questions or fears. I’ll be cuddling in a few minutes, which is another first. Then again, we have been snuggled up on her couch most nights this week.

I’ve liked it a little too much. I’ve become damn addicted to it, just like I’m addicted to her.

After a too-quick kiss to Enya, I tiptoe through the dark, quietly carrying Adara down to the kitchen. One handed, I reach for a glass then turn on the tap. Glancing out the window above the sink as the water from the faucet cools, I narrow my eyes and lean forward.

A light flickers in the distance. My perception can’t distinguish if it’s near the woods or closer to the house. Either way, whatever it is—whomever it is—is too close.

“Fuck,” I mutter despite Adara in my arms.

I fill the glass and chug back the contents, never looking away from the beam of light sweeping side to side before disappearing.

Was that a flashlight? Was it headlights? What’s going on out there? Or rather, who is out there?

Those woods and what once went down in them is all too familiar to me. An icy chill rolls down my spine, but Adara squeaks, returning my attention to her.

“I’ll never let anything happen to you. Not to you, or your mom,” I vow. Promises I intend to keep.

Kissing her head, I stare out the window another second, before turning back toward the stairs.

Even with the light no longer apparent, my confidence staggers. Old fears return.

There’s trouble lingering in the darkness.

+ + +

When I wake before the three a.m. feeding, Enya is wrapped around me. I’m a stomach sleeper, so she’s pressed into my side, one leg over mine and her arm securely over my lower back like I’m a giant body pillow. With Adara’s nursing and me crashing in Enya’s too-comfortable bed, we didn’t officially post-coital cuddle last night.

The night rushes back to me. Falling asleep with Adara on my chest. Following Enya to her bedroom. I hadn’t intended for a second round with her so soon after our first, but everyone knows about the Sterlets and that non-book club book club. I had to know if Enya made any purchases. Then I had to prove I was better than any plaything.

I want to be better in many ways.

Adara gurgles and coos from her bassinet, and Enya shifts, but I’m quick to catch her hand dangling over my side.

“Not yet,” I mumble to the pillow, liking a little too much how right this woman feels against me, holding onto me.

Enya chuckles at my shoulder and I roll my head to face her. Her deep brown eyes hit me like sunshine on a cloudy day, lit only by the glow of a plug-in nightlight.

“Good morning,” she whispers.

The sound of her voice makes me hard, and I’d love for it to be the best morning by greeting her body with mine. We aren’t there yet, though, and I’m surprisingly okay with waiting. I’ve never taken my time with a woman like I’ve been doing with Enya. Never spent so much time with a woman, either. The slower pace is refreshing while frustrating. There’s no doubt I want to fuck her. Take her rough and fast. Make both our heart rates rise and bodies sweat. However, I also want to feel every touch and whisper.

Her fingertips imprinted on my skin. Her kisses melting against my mouth. Her voice singing in my head.

I might be in over my head with her . . . and her baby girl.

Adara squawks louder and Enya groans. She’ll move away from me in a second, so I take her in. Hair wild. Smile timid. Eyes bright despite the darkness. I drink her in, like a morning dose of caffeine to get me through the day.

After a quick kiss to my shoulder, she tugs her arm and I reluctantly release her, watching her roll away from me to pick up Adara.

I need to get out of this bed. I really need to stop spending the night. I shouldn’t be here so much, but I can’t seem to stay away. Being here feels strangely right.

After last night—both what we did and then what I saw out the window—I won’t be staying away until I know Enya and Adara are safe living in this house.