Page 78 of Sterling Heat

I’m curious what the cold war involves and if it has anything to do with Sebastian, but I don’t ask. Anything I need to know I want to come from him. He has suggested the abuse from his father and explained his poor decisions as a teen. He even admitted how he killed someone, but I’m not afraid of him. Like I told him the other night, physical damage isn’t a concern. My heart is the organ that’s in danger.

When I finally return home, I’m on a high from that glass of wine and time among women who were friendly and funny. My cheeks hurt from laughing.

Once again, I remind myself I made the right decision in moving to Sterling Falls and I have more than one Sylver to thank.

Vale is welcoming and sweet. “Don’t take any shit from my brother,” she’d warned me before I left. “He’s a good guy at heart, he just doesn’t want to believe it. Stay strong.” She raises her fist in solidarity. She acts as if her brother and I are an item. As if we have a future, when right now, we’re more like an exploration mission.

I don’t dwell on these thoughts, though, as I walk up my front porch. Once inside the house, I find Sebastian stretched out on my couch with Adara snuggled on his chest. A mental snapshot clicks, stashing this moment where his big hands are spread over her tiny tush, and her legs are tucked up to her belly, her head sideways, listening to his heartbeat. Her eyes are sweetly closed, mouth slightly agape. I’ll store this memory like so many others and wish for things I have no right wishing for with this man.

He said he’s willing to try but I still don’t know what that would look like. What that means for any of us. Will Adara call him uncle one day? The term doesn’t feel special enough for who he is in our lives. Will he continue to be our friend as she grows? He said he wants to be here.

The questions are too heavy for the lightened mood I’m in, and I’m not willing to let momentary melancholy trample the good time I’ve had tonight.

Instead, I step forward and attempt to scoop Adara off Sebastian. Instantly, he awakens and tightens his hold on her.

“Hey,” I whisper as he stares up at me all blurry-eyed and sleepy as I lean over him.

“I didn’t mean to fall asleep.” His head tips downward as he double-checks that Adara is still securely on his chest.

“You must be exhausted from waking up at three each morning and then heading to the bakery so early.”

“It’s no big deal. I don’t mind.” His voice is groggy while it’s evident his mind is still in a fog.

“Let me take her,” I gently suggest.

He leans toward her head, kissing it like he does. “Sweet dreams, pretty girl.”

He’s sweet and my heart can’t take it.

I lift Adara and step toward the staircase. Glancing back, Sebastian remains on the couch, body stretched down the length. His eyes are still dazed, but he’s watching my retreat. He looks comfortable, and I should leave him where he is. He needs sleep.

But I can’t seem to help myself.

“Joining us?” I nod toward the staircase, implying my room which I currently share with Adara.

He continues to stare at me, maybe not fully awake. Maybe not wanting to move.

Then he scrubs his hands down his face and hitches himself upright. He presses off the couch and wordlessly crosses the room toward us. He places his hand on my lower back and kisses my temple.

I secretly smile that he’ll stay a while.

If only it were forever.

+ + +

Once upstairs, Sebastian collapses face first on the bed, and I prepare myself for another sleep-deprived night. He fed Adara a bottle while I was gone so it isn’t time to nurse her yet.

Slipping underneath the covers, I’m careful not to disturb Sebastian who has fallen on top of the blankets, fully dressed. His feet hang off the end of the bed and his arms are tucked underneath a pillow as he lays on his stomach. His head is turned so he faces the window, not my pillow.

For a moment, the scent of vanilla and man wafts through my nose. My fingers itch to trace down his back and slip beneath his shirt but I don’t want to disturb him.

“Sweet dreams, Sebastian,” I whisper, certain he’s already inside his nightly imagination.

Startling me, he turns his head on the pillow, so he faces me. “I was having the sweetest dream.” His voice is rugged and sexy, causing my lady bits to vibrate.

“Really?” I keep my voice low. “What were you dreaming about?”

He hums as his body shifts to mirror mine. “How was your night?”