Page 62 of Sterling Heat

Of course, she doesn’t want to keep me. I’m being an ass.

She steps up to Vale and awkwardly hugs my sister. “Thanks for the invitation. Maybe I’ll take you up on that book club invite, even though I haven’t gotten much reading done lately.”

Vale gives Enya a concerned glance before she scowls at me again. Then she peers back at Enya, softening her expression. “I don’t want you to leave.”

Vale gives me another disapproving frown, side-eyeing Enya with an unspoken warning. Fix this.

Enya doesn’t offer me a glance. “Today is about family.” Her statement feels abrupt, like she’s left the sentence unfinished.

Today is about family, and she isn’t part of ours.

Today is about family, and she doesn’t have any present.

Today is about family, and I want her to be mine.

And I’m such a shit for reacting stone cold at her appearance in the yard. I’m just a little surprised. Maybe shocked is the word. Maybe I’m just being an asshole because I should have invited Enya myself, but I’ve had my reasons for keeping her away from my family.

When she brushes past Vale and brusquely crosses the yard, it hits me how much I want her here. I don’t want her to leave, and I especially don’t want her to run off because of me. Because I’ve made her feel unwelcome when that’s the last thing I intended. I want her present. With me.

Taking off after her, I near the corner of the house and catch her by the elbow.

“Wait. Just wait.” I’m breathing hard like I’ve run the perimeter of our property not taken a few generous steps across the grass.

Enya swings to face me. The diaper bag falls from her shoulder, catching in the crook of her elbow. Adara fusses in Enya’s arms.

“I’m sorry,” I blurt before she can offer me an apology. I don’t want her damn forgiveness when she’s done nothing wrong. “It’s just—”

What is it?

“It’s just . . . I should have invited you myself.” Suddenly, I feel anxious, like something is buzzing just beneath my skin. The truth is I’ve wanted her to meet my family, but I’ve also wanted to keep Enya to myself a little longer, as someone special just for me. Stone might be kind of a stickler about people outside the family but that’s on him. And Vale might be doing her thing, asking Enya to join us because that’s just Vale, including her new friend. But Enya belonged to me first, and I should be the one introducing her to my family.

“You don’t need to say that.”

“I’m not—”

Her quickly raised hand stops me. She adjusts Adara again. “Vale is becoming my friend, and I don’t have many here. I wanted to get out of the house for a little bit, but I should have cleared it with you first. This is your family.”

“It isn’t that I don’t want you here.” I don’t know how to fully explain myself without revealing too much about my feelings. How much I want her, and not just as a friend. I’m struggling to keep my attraction to her in check. That mouth. The curve of her hips. The shape of her breasts. I could hardly keep my hands off her the other night.

“It’s more about them, than you,” I explain. They’re going to think things about us that aren’t true. They’re going to ship us together when that vessel can never sail. They’re going to love her when I can’t keep her.

“I don’t even know what that means.”

“They’re going to tease me.” I sound like a five-year-old, worried about being bullied. I can hold my own, but Enya is important to me, and I don’t want them belittling her by trying to link us together, like a couple. That isn’t what Enya wants, and it isn’t what she deserves.

Enya juts her hip and presses her lips together, twisting them to the side. I can’t tell if she’s fighting laughter at my whining or finally seeing the real me. The one who leaves disappointment in my wake.

Finally, she says, “Do you need me to protect you from your big, bad brothers? Need me to flex some muscle at them?” She lifts her arm, dangling the diaper bag at her elbow still, and weakly attempts to pump her bicep.

I bitterly scoff and shake my head. Why am I acting this way? Like I’m a snarling dog when I feel more like a lovesick pup.

Because I’m scared. Because eventually she will get sick of me and find a better man, and my family is going to blame me when she walks away.

It will be one more bad decision on my part.

“Please,” I whisper. “Stay.”

Enya stares at me until I grow uncomfortable with her gaze. The intensity of her looking at me, like she could scorch me, embedding a permanent scar when she leaves. Or like she could be my everything if I’d only let her a little closer.