Page 47 of Sterling Heat

Because when Enya stayed with me, I needed—no, wanted—to skate out early to get to the hospital. Moms and dads had twenty-four-hour access, so there wasn’t ever a rush to visit, but by mid-afternoon an itch would creep in. A desire for a fix. An Adara snuggle.

I’d never admit that to anyone.

But Adara’s soft skin and baby scent just did something to me. I needed the hit to get me through nights with Enya wandering my apartment and then nights without Enya in my place. I missed the fragrance of her perfume lingering in my bathroom and her extra bottles of shampoo in my shower. I missed knowing she was in her bedroom and even the throbbing hum of her breast pump. I missed her constant appreciation and warm smile when I cooked for her. And the way she tucked into the corner of my couch, sighing to herself as she read.

Dreams danced in her eyes, and I wanted to know every desire and thought when I had no right. She wasn’t my wife. She wasn’t even my woman, and she wasn’t the mother of my child. Adara belonged to Enya and Enya belonged to herself.

My brothers’ ribbing haunted me. Someday, some other man will move into Enya’s place and take over the real role of being Adara’s dad. He’ll sleep beside Enya and steal all the Adara snuggles. And—

“Fuck,” I growl as Rena swipes by me again. Did her hand just brush my ass?

“Your phone is buzzing.”

“What?” My watch and my phone are linked, and I glance down at the face, where a notification momentarily pops up and then disappears. Some days, I tune out the constant dribble of conversation in the family chat. I don’t need to know Clay saw a pretty girl or Vale saw some old friend. Or Ford checks in, demanding reassurance we watched his game or saw his catch, like he’s a little boy on a T-ball team instead of a major league baseball player.

Did you see me? Did you see me? Yeah, yeah. We saw him. Envy had no place in me. Ford worked hard but he also had it all and he made it seem so easy. Beautiful wife. Three adorable little girls. A big house. Fancy car. The picture-perfect life.

Something I’ll never have, as my past made the frame around images of me hang a little crooked no matter how many times I’ve tried to straighten it.

“Boss?” Rena quips.

My phone is buzzing in my back pocket and on my wrist again. “Right,” I bark, reaching into my jeans for the device.

A notification appears from Enya. Adara gets to go home.

My lips curl.

“Is that . . .” Rena makes a disgruntled face as I glance up at her. “Are you . . . smiling?”

“Fuck no.” But I can’t help the curve of my mouth and the flutter in my chest.

Adara gets to go home. She can leave the hospital and Enya can love on her twenty-four seven.

I’m so happy for you, I instantly text, overwhelmed with relief while strangely saddened that I won’t be skipping out early to see the baby at the hospital. She’ll be home now. No reason to keep pretending I’m her dad.

My gaze falls to the worn hospital band on my wrist. Adara Violet Calloway is listed right above my name. For half a second the Calloway name fades away and Sylver replaces it.

Quickly, I dismiss the thought. My phone lights up again with an instant response. You’re the first person I thought to tell.

Shit. My heart is hammering so fast I press my palm to my chest. She thought of me first? She means I’m the first person to know this news. Next, she’ll text her sister. Maybe her parents. Maybe even Vale. Soon enough my family will know Adara is home. They’ve already given me shit for Enya living with me. Then moving out. All their jokes and jests can stop now.

Adara and Enya are exiting my life.

This is awesome news. But a sour taste fills my throat.

A reply pops up. I have a few things to do while she passes a car seat test. Then we can leave the hospital together.

I continue to smile, preparing to send one last message. Maybe a thumbs up? A smiley face? Fuck, what am I thinking? I don’t do emojis.

Three little dots appear, and I hold my breath as they flicker and disappear. Pop up again, and then blink away. They light up one more time before words fill a text bubble.

Would you like to be our welcome home committee? You could meet me at the hospital or be the first to see her at the house.

My breath hitches. I can’t do that. I can’t go out to the Wallace farmhouse. But Enya thought of me first. She messaged me moments after receiving this good news.

“Rena,” I bark, not glancing up at my employee. “I’m going out for a bit.”

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