Page 34 of Letting Go at 40

Guilt riddles at me again. I should be there for her. I promised Ben.

Bryce: Just every once in a while. Senior day was difficult. Calvin was honored for leadership.

Shit. How did I miss this? In a small town, kids can play more than one sport. Bryce loved football while Calvin excelled at baseball, but they each played the other sport as well.

I’d made it to a few games, keeping away from Anna where she sat with the other parents. Sometimes Logan and Zack would join me near the fence along the sidelines. I’d sneak off once the games were finished. I hadn’t made it to senior day because Samantha pitched a fit about me taking Lynlee to Lakeside. She tossed out words like kidnapping and court. It wasn’t like I asked for Lynlee overnight. Part of our agreement was my daughter didn’t spend the night. But I was so sick of Samantha’s bullshit.

Me: I’m sorry I missed it.

Bryce: No worries, man. Calvin understands.

Did he, though? He was only eighteen years old, at the end of one journey and on the verge of another. He’d be going to college next fall. Anna would be down one more family member, although Calvin could come home. She wasn’t losing him forever.

Bryce: Think you might be here for Thanksgiving?

I hadn’t thought much about the holidays for myself. Jenna’s comments come back to me. Anna had a year of firsts before her. They all did, and I didn’t want to be in the way.

Bryce: Mom’s calling it a Friendsgiving. I don’t think she understands the concept.

I chuckle as I type. Why? Who is coming to dinner?

Bryce: The usual. Aunt Autumn and Logan. Zack and River. Everyone will be here.

Everyone. Everyone else but me. The truth stings. I’d always been on the outside of that collective term, especially as people married and had kids.

The invitation wasn’t exactly from Anna, but I needed to do better for the kids. Ben asked me to be present. He’d told me he didn’t need to ask for more, like he hadn’t officially asked me to stay and live with them that final year. In his words, he knew I’d be there. I’d step up for him.

I’d be there for Thanksgiving.

Me: If it’s okay with your mom, I’ll be there.

Bryce: It’s okay with me, so be here. *Wink face emoji*

Chapter 14

2 Years Ago

November

Thanksgiving

[Anna]

“Mason?” My surprise couldn’t be contained as I open the front door to find a sinfully gorgeous man wearing a bright blue suit standing there.

“Hey.” Mason swipes nervously at his hair, detecting the shock in my tone. “Bryce didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?” With my hand still on the doorknob, I cock a hip to the side. My middle child is the quiet one. He can also be sneaky at times.

“He invited me to dinner.” Mason stares at me, expectantly, smoothing a hand down his tie.

“Of course.” I shake my head, wiping away images of those same eyes staring into mine with trepidation after we— I cut off the reminder and skim a trembling hand down my hip, smoothing out my dress. “Of course. Come in. Happy Thanksgiving.”

Stepping back, I wave at him to pass but he pauses before me, holding up a bouquet of fall flowers that I hadn’t noticed he held at his side.

“Happy Thanksgiving, Anna.” He leans forward, kissing my cheek. The kiss comes as a sudden surprise after years of him being careful not to touch me. And one night when things catapulted out of control.

With a sharp inhale at the sudden move, my nose fills with the crisp scent of him. Fresh. Expensive. Alive.