Page 102 of Loving at 40

She cups my cheeks, giving me a once-over before speaking. “I cannot lose any more family members.”

Damn that water blinding my vision a second. I blink against the potential of tears again and decide it’s no better time for the truth than immediately.

“That’s why Ben was listed as my next of kin.”

Anna’s hands lower, and she steps back, keeping her eyes on mine, but I catch her wrists, keeping her focused on me.

“We’d already lost Mom and Dad. I couldn’t put you through that again. If you had to claim me.” I hear Jenna’s breath hitch as she’s close, standing near the kitchen island while I spill my reasons for being distant from my sister.

“Autumn had already dealt with her father’s heart attack, and Ben said she was handling his prognosis. He didn’t want you to be responsible for reaching out to me, so he asked her.” It explains how Autumn had my email address when Anna didn’t.

“I didn’t want you worrying about me.”

“So it was better to be completely in the dark?” Hurt fills Anna’s voice.

“It was.” I nod once. Keeping her safe from my world had been my priority, along with keeping my entire family separate from what I did for a living. It was an adventure and dangerous, but it didn’t need to be their journey or their safety at risk. I did what I did for me. Silently, doing it for them.

“But I’m here now,” I tell her. “I’m done with the department.”

“I don’t even know what you did.” Her voice softens while confusion and questions still fill it.

“I’ll tell you what I can, but later.” I glance up at the girls, each sitting on an island stool, waiting on the lunch I promised them we’d make when we arrived. Anna notices Jenna, and quick hugs are exchanged with her and the little princesses. Then it’s a flurry of cabinets opening and items from the refrigerator being removed.

“What will you do next?” Anna asks when the girls are settled at the four-person dining table in the bay window looking out toward the lake.

“Actually, I’ve been chatting with the chief of police and the superintendent of the school this week.”

At the mention of my talks, Jenna’s head pops up. She’s seated at the kitchen island with Anna next to her. I went into food preparation mode and took over sandwich making, and even made Jenna and Anna spiked hot tea to go with theirs.

“The area needs some additional safety measures. I’d already been thinking about safety consulting, so I asked about a director of public safety position.”

“I don’t think we have one of those,” Jenna says, keeping her eyes on me.

“The area doesn’t and should. With tourism being its number one draw, thousands of visitors come into the area each year.” Drugs running so close to the community through the waterway of the giant lake is reason enough for public safety to be upped. The private sector of neighborhoods and families is also a concern as evident this last week. “So I’m working with the chief to connect me with other departments in the area. I’m going to consult until the position becomes a legitimate position in the protection forces around the county.”

Jenna stares at me while Anna glances at my girl before looking back at me. Slowly, my sister smiles, which I sense more than see because I don’t take my eyes off Jenna.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Jenna whispers, her face pinkening a bit, and Anna’s smile grows larger while Jenna seems embarrassed.

“You had enough on your mind this week.”

Her mouth falls open, ready to argue something with me. Then she glances over at my sister. Anna’s bright expression lessens the tension on Jenna’s shoulders, and my girl turns back to me.

“You’re really staying.” Her voice cracks. There’s no question only confirmation, although I don’t know how she still doesn’t believe I’m not leaving. I’ve been at her home for six weeks. I’ve been in her bed every night. I wake with her wrapped around me each morning. And I spend my days thinking of my girls. All three of them.

“I’m really staying.” I keep my eyes on hers until she’s off her chair and rounding the island, tossing her body at me. With her in my arms, I peek up at my sister, who gives me a smile of reassurance and pleasure. Most of all, her expression reads welcome back to the family.

43

[Jenna]

A few mornings later, when I enter the main house, searching for tea, Mason exits from the master wing.

“Umm.” The soft hum fills the quiet space of Anna’s kitchen while I stand there, holding a box of tea to my chest as if I’m the one nearly naked and not Mason. As he’s wearing only his boxer briefs, my eyes quickly redirect from the soft black fabric stretched tight over him. I am not noticing your huge erection. Nope, not noticing a thing. I’ve got my own man with a big package in the apartment over the garage, but I’m not a hot-blooded woman if I can’t react to the spectacle of Mason first thing in the morning.

“Good morning,” I mumble, only I’ve said it a little too loud and a lot cheerier than I feel this early in the day. I shake the box of tea as evidence of what I’m doing in the kitchen, but everything in my expression asks what is he doing in here? Especially as he came from a direction that clearly was not upstairs. He’s staying in the house to give us the apartment for the week.

Mason swipes a hand through his hair, nervously looking away from me but not anxious enough to remove himself and put some damn clothes on. Eventually, he peers back at me and hitches his thumb in the direction of the master suite.