Page 14 of Living at 40

“Can you eat the rest of this?” Her show of concern is heartwarming and a little reassuring that she doesn’t completely hate me.

“It’s all about portion control, counting carbs, and a hundred other things, but I’m good. If I don’t want to eat it, I’ll just double up on salad.”

The kitchen is large, and the women surround the island with the girls kneeling on stools to rip up lettuce and drop in it an oversized bowl. I circle the island to be closer to Autumn. After running a hand up her back, I massage her neck. “Can I help?”

She stills under my touch, but I continue squeezing the back of her neck until she relaxes a bit.

“We have it all under control. The guys took the boys down to the beach for football,” Anna says.

“I can take a hint,” I state, tipping up my chin at Anna. My hand doesn’t want to leave Autumn’s tender skin, blanketed by her hair which is soft and tickles my arm, but I need to move away from her before I do something inappropriate against this counter despite the audience. I can’t seem to stop myself from pressing a kiss to her temple before stepping away.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter to her hair, inhaling her slight scent of pastries and coffee. When I step away, her head turns in my direction, but I don’t glance back at her as I exit the house for the long walk down to the sand.

The strip of beachfront along the lake is serene, and the cliffs protect it from the noise of homes. On occasion, Anna’s parents allowed her to bring the gang on a weekend visit, and we had some good times here. Watching the guys toss a football with the sons of our friends reminds me of those moments and makes me feel a little old. I always wanted more children while Chloe didn’t. I love Lorna, but a son would have been fun, too. While I’ve never been upset about pink tutus and Girl Scouts, I’d love to toss a football like the boys are doing.

As I reach the sand, I wedge my way into the game, jumping to intercept the ball from Zack.

“Interception,” I call out before running. I dodge around Mason, who does nothing to stop me, and pivot around Calvin, raising a fist in the air like I’m the king of sand football. Trevor, one of Zack’s little hellions, tries to tackle me, but I leave him in the dust, slamming down the football to give my victory dance. My knees wobble together. My fists roll over each other. I shake my ass.

“You’re never going to win a woman with those dance moves,” Zack teases somewhere behind me, and I turn to face my friends.

“Don’t need to win what comes easily,” I mock, still doing my dance.

“You wish.” Mason snorts.

“Trouble with the ladies,” Ben jokes, wiggling his brows. “Calvin can give you tips.”

“Dad,” Ben’s sixteen-year-old son groans.

“Got a girlfriend?” I tease, sounding like I’m sixteen as well.

“He has many,” Ben states, and Mason offers Calvin a high five.

“Who cares about girls?” Trevor asks, digging in the sand with his little hands. He’s covered in the stuff, and it can’t be just from chasing after the guys with the football.

“He’s only six. He’ll get there someday,” Zack says as I walk closer to them.

“Dad, hike it again,” calls out Bryce, Ben’s younger son.

“Let Logan do it. I need to catch my breath.” Ben isn’t out of shape, but he is breathing heavier. He looks great, but he also looks tired. He’s holding his side like he ran a mile instead of tossing a ball, and he falls into a beach chair on the sand.

“You okay, man?” I ask, still holding the ball in my hands.

“Of course. Go play.” He flicks his wrist like he’s dismissing one of his kids, and I look up to meet Mason’s eyes. He’s been watching our friend as well, but in true guy form, we don’t push it. I set up to hike the ball to Bryce, who sends it sailing through the air to his brother yards away.

“Holy shit. He has an arm,” I say to no one and everyone. Turning back to Ben, I see him watching his son, pride in his face, but something’s off in his eyes. “He going to play for the green and white one day?”

As alumni of Michigan State University, we’ve often joked about our kids attending college there and following in our footsteps. Anna’s family is from Chicago, and although Ben moved to Illinois to be with her, his heart bleeds green and white.

“Hopefully,” Ben whispers, his fingers coming to his lips and curling into a fist. He taps the side of his fist against his mouth a few times before he quickly stands. “I think I’ll check on the girls.”

We all seem to pause in our place as Ben gives us his back and walks the sand until he reaches the decking that leads to the one-hundred and fifty stair climb up the cliff.

“Is he alright?” I ask Zack, who is nearest me.

“He’s been acting strange, but I figure it’s just stress. This house is a lot to maintain from a distance. Although Autumn is nearby, she has her own business now and lives in town. Plus, it really should be Archer and Amelia picking up the slack. They’re Anna’s siblings.” Archer McCaryn is kind of a vagabond, and Amelia is younger than Autumn with a high-pressure job in marketing in Chicago.

“Ben still doing okay with his business?” Ben is a landscape designer, and he could have taken over his father’s business when he graduated college. Instead, he followed Anna to Chicago, where she got a teaching job, and he set up shop there, like an extension of his father’s company. When his father died, Ben tried to remotely run both companies. His sister had been the office manager at the time and quit to start her business. It was a shit show for a while, but Ben found a new manager with his mom as point person to check on things.