Page 11 of The Heart Remembers

All I can think about now is the size of him, bulging and big behind those sexy black boxer briefs, and the way he so nicely filled them out. While I shouldn’t do it, I cannot help myself, and I slip my hands into my own underwear and imagine Levi taking me against a wall like the one at my back. A hallway wall, he’d said. I imagine this future man he talked about. The one who wouldn’t let me go if I was naked. The one who would take me against a wall. But the man in my head is Levi, and I come hard, covering my mouth with one hand while the other is down my own underwear.

+ + +

“Tom, no, you promised. Everyone together.” The next morning, I find Aunt Karyn arguing with Uncle Tom, her husband, and the birthday boy.

“What’s going on?” I whisper to my dad. We haven’t spent nearly enough time together since I’ve been here. My father, Jess Carter, is the second son. He’s not as easygoing or laid-back as his older brother. Broody and moody, Aunt Tricia used to call him. A bit of a beast, my grandma would say. He was still a good-looking man in his mid-fifties with strips of gray hidden in his still dirty blond hair. We have the same eyes everyone tells us—denim blue and intense.

Dad shakes his head at me as if dismissing the argument.

“It’s only for the morning,” Uncle Tom argues. “Just a couple of hours.”

“It’s never a couple of hours,” Aunt Karyn replies, crossing her arms. Karyn looks like an Irish dancer with tight curlicued hair, still jet black, and obviously dyed this late in her life. Her ivory skin and fierce green eyes narrow in on her husband.

“What’s he want?” I whisper to Dad.

“Tom’s trying to convince Karyn that we need boys' time, and all the guys should go fishing.”

“Don’t you do that, like all the time?” I tease. My dad and his brother have taken up fly fishing as a new hobby, like a pair of old guys. One day they’re going to be those two grumpy old men sitting in a boat complaining about life, although Tom will probably be laughing about it.

Dad gives me a sly smile because I’m right. Tom and Dad both worked hard over the years. First, Tom had his own business called QuickFix, and then when my grandpa died, my dad and I moved back here. The two brothers took over Sound Advice, the electrical repair shop their father owned. My dad also made some invention that he still holds the patent on.

“Ah, Karyn, let the man have his way,” Uncle Jacob interjects from the table where he’s sitting with his laptop open. He’s the eldest of the older set but young at heart, and he loves to party. Married to my Aunt Pam, he isn’t as tall as my dad or Tom but not short. He’s tough as though he could have been a prize fighter at one time, and he has an amazing imagination and writes fantasy, sci-fi, horror novels.

“Pam, help me out here. He’s your brother,” Karyn whines to my aunt, the third in line, under my dad in birth order and actually his Irish twin, born eleven months apart. She turns her blond-bobbed head and smiles at her sister-in-law, gazing at her with eyes like my father and myself, bright and blue.

“When have I ever had leeway over my brother?” she replies with a laugh. “They’ve never listened to me, and neither have you. I told you not to marry him.”

Just then, Lys comes downstairs with AJ in her arms, and I wonder where Levi is. My vision scans the room to find Leon sitting on one of the couches in the large sitting area attached to the kitchen. He gives his sister a quizzical look, and Tricia enters the kitchen next.

“What happened to the agenda?” Aunt Tricia asks, holding up a piece of paper that I notice has large red lettering over the page. Tom snatches the paper and pretends to read it.

“No charts, baby,” Leon mutters, lifting his coffee mug for his mouth.

“Says fishing, right here.” Tom holds the paper out to everyone, but it’s obvious the bright red ink is an addition.

“Oh boy,” Leon mutters, shaking his head with a knowing smile. His attention shifts back to his sister once Levi appears, looking freshly showered. Levi walks up to Lys, who’s holding AJ, and kisses his son’s head, then he presses a kiss to Lys’s temple, and she smiles up at him. My heart sinks. For some reason, Leon grabs the baby monitor off the coffee table. He quickly stands and stalks to Levi while Karyn and Tom continue arguing about fishing. My focus is solely on Leon and the murderous gaze he’s aimed at Levi.

“You might want to make sure this is upstairs when you go to bed.” Leon shoves the device into Levi’s chest, and Levi glances over at me while Leon glares at his sister. “Not everyone wants to hear what you’re doing up there.”

Leon steps away from Levi, and Lys watches her brother’s retreat. Still, Levi focuses on me, and I’m wondering what just happened here. Did Lys enter Levi’s room? Did something happen between them? It’s a terrible thought, and I quickly dismiss it. Lys is married.

I look away from the dark gaze on me. I’m dressed for a run and ready to take it to rid my mind of what happened last night.

“See you guys in a little bit,” I say to no one in particular and slip out the side door for the street.

This strip of street is a mile or so long and quiet, despite the highway on the other side of homes to my left. The homes on the right are lakeside with the view and the price tag. I’d grown up in this sleepy one stop sign—not even a stoplight—town, so I run in that direction. It’s strange to be in the area but not home. However, with all my family at this large rental, it doesn’t matter. This is an area I love even if I don’t live here now. These are the people I love. Wherever I am with them is my home.

By the time I return from my run, I’ve convinced myself I can make it through the entire day by ignoring Levi. Not mentioning what almost happened but didn’t happen would save face, just like we’ve ignored those kisses for years. Also, that weird exchange with him and Lys puzzles me, but I decide it isn’t my business. I can’t think of Levi with her. She is sweet but married, so she should be off-limits. However, I did not miss his very open temple kiss to her.

Yes, ignoring Levi is for the best.

“So, Levi asked me if he could steal you for part of the day, and as the day’s gone to shit, I approved. He said you’d be leaving at ten,” Tricia explains once I re-enter the house and find her entertaining AJ on the living room floor. I glance at the clock on the oven. It’s nine thirty.

“Where is Levi?” If he wants to steal me, why didn’t he ask me himself?

“He went to take a walk with Lys.”

Interesting. “He didn’t go fishing?” Tom was making that big production about all the men going fishing.