Page 78 of The History in Us

“You need to go, Alicia.” I stepped back, allowing her space. “We can have you legally release AJ and I’ll take full custody. It’s over.”

Her eyes narrowed as she scanned my body. “It never began.” She paced around me without a glance back at her child. I don’t know what stung worse, her dismissal of any attempt at love between us, or her blatant disregard for her son.

* * *

As soon as Alicia was gone, I called Katie.

“Please answer,” I muttered while the phone rang. Getting her voice mail, I spoke. “Katie, let me explain.” After twenty-seven messages like that and fifteen texts with no response, I finally stopped hounding her. AJ needed dinner. I needed to unpack, and that’s when I remembered that our luggage was still in my car. Katie’s bag was in my backseat. I called Mrs. Hubbard next.

I took an Uber to Katie’s apartment and thanked God for the elevator to the third floor. Using my crutches was a pain in the ass, and fumbling on them wasn’t exactly the presentation I wanted to make when I begged her to understand my mistake. I took a deep breath. I had things to say. Things I’d never said to anyone before, and my heart raced in my throat as I pounded on the door. Three hard thumps brought me face to face with a bleach-blonde head of a hair and a dark set of eyes.

“Who are you?” Her Southern accent gave Kentucky away, the roommate I hadn’t met but heard Katie describe as everything Katie wished to be. Taking in her large breasts and long nails, there wasn’t anything about Kentucky I wanted Katie to have. Katie was perfect to me.

“I’m Levi Walker and I’m here to see Katie.” I didn’t wait for an answer as I set the crutches within the entrance, but a fake-nailed hand came to my chest.

“Oh no, you don’t,” she tsked with her deep drawl. “My girl isn’t interested in seeing you at the moment.”

“It’s okay,” a strained voice spoke behind the Southern bodyguard, and I looked over her shoulder to see a defeated Katie. My heart crumbled like a brick wall.

“Katie,” I exhaled, not realizing I’d been holding my breath for the last half hour trying to get here.

“What do you want, Levi?”

Kentucky stepped back as Katie stepped forward. I wasn’t any closer to getting inside the apartment.

“We need to talk.” Katie raised a hand to stop me. “I need to talk.” I swallowed, realizing this would be more difficult than I thought.

“No, Levi, I think I’ll speak instead. I don’t know why you called Alicia. I’d like to understand, with her being AJ’s mother and all, it’s the way things should be. What I don’t understand is why you didn’t tell me. Why you’d lead me on and go with me to my home.” She choked on the words, and I thought of her family, how kind they had been to AJ and me. Tricia and Leon had treated me like the prodigal son while Emily and Jess welcomed me into the Carter fold. They’d visited me in the hospital. They’d acted like I was part of their family.

“And I don’t understand why you didn’t tell me about the job, a job I was excited for you to apply for and was praying that you’d get.” She paused, inhaling deeply. “I’m so proud of you.” The words stung instantly. They weren’t an insult but a praise. For me. Despite the way I’d treated her.

“I want you to have everything you deserve, Levi.” She paused again, her eyes closing, and I sensed she had something to add, but she shifted to other words. “I wish you the best, but I need you to leave.”

“Katie, I’m sorry.” Her hand rose again.

“I know, Levi, but I deserve the best too. I deserve the fairy tale,” she shook her head slowly. “And you’re always apologizing for not being the hero, but the only time you’ve been a coward is today.” A tear leaked from her eye and I realized how much she’d misunderstood.

“Katie,” I fumbled, forcing the crutches forward and fencing her feet in with the metal. I had things to say. “I’m not sorry for kissing you at thirteen.” My eyes searched her face.

“And I’m not sorry you kissed me at seventeen.” More tears flowed down her cheeks, and I pressed forward, backing her into the couch behind her. Damn these crutches. I leaned forward as Katie arched away from me.

“I’ll never be sorry you made love to me,” I said, lowering my voice as her roommate stood audience to our display. My forehead pressed forward hoping to connect with Katie’s. If she wouldn’t let me touch her, and I had trouble balancing anyway, I needed her to focus on me. Only me. A sob escaped, and Katie covered her mouth with her fingers.

“But you do scare me. I want to give you everything, but I don’t know how. You deserve more than me, I know that, but I want you, only you”

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted,” she whispered, and it broke me.

“Katie, please,” I begged, wanting to add, I love you, but not wanting it to be like this. Not in front of her roommate, not while we were arguing. Katie Carter deserved those words in a better manner than thrown out with an apology. But her head shook and her hand uncovered her lips.

“I need you to leave, Levi.”