Page 65 of The History in Us

The interview with Phil Jakobach from Geographic Digest went smoothly. I shared a portfolio of images, capturing objects and people, to emphasize my growing expertise as well as creativity. One photo in black and white stopped Phil in flipping through the pictures.

“I saw this in the digital spread we asked you to share. Holding it in my hand does it more justice.” He paused as he stared at the woman. A stream of hair slashing over her face. Eyes held by the camera. She looked deep into the soul of the person behind the lens. “Is she special to you?”

I stared down at the image of Katie. We’d been at the zoo that day, and the breeze had caught her hair. She didn’t bother to move the wayward strands at first. Instead, she ensnared me with a look only she could give. One I’d grown used to seeing, where she dug beyond my eyes, looked through my brain and traveled inward for my soul. Those eyes haunted me. Surprisingly, in a good way.

“Yeah, she’s special,” I muttered, realizing I took too long to answer. Breaking my gaze from the black-and-white, I noticed Phil watching me.

“You know this position could lead you all over the world. You’d explore unknown places, discover mysteries, solve puzzles, capture history.” He paused letting all those exciting possibilities sink in. “But you’d be away from home a lot. Sometimes more absent than present. It can be rough on a relationship.”

I sat up at the comment.

“Katie…” I let her name drift. “The subject is a friend.” The word instantly boomeranged back at me. It wasn’t the best descriptor for her. She was more than a friend. She was special, like he said.

“I see,” he offered, looking back at the image. “Too bad, then.” His thumb caressed Katie’s cheek, and he returned the photograph to the pile.

“Sir, I’ll do whatever it takes to have this position. It’s become my dream job. I thought the military would be my everything, but…” I twisted my knee. We’d already discussed what happened to me. “I’m strong. I’m curious. And this would return me to seeing the world. Provide me an opportunity to capture it.” I could escape, but I didn’t have that same sense of entrapment I’d once felt. In addition, I had AJ, which was a different kind of confinement, one I didn’t fault him. I’d work out the particulars later, reassuring myself that taking this job was for him. I could give him many things my dad never provided with a job like this. I could give him the world.

Too many thoughts collided after the interview. A slow smile crossed my lips as my hand rubbed absently over my portfolio. I stared out the Uber window as the city passed.

“No matter what happens, I’m so proud of you, Levi. You should be proud of you,” Katie said, lowering those eyes in that manner she had, making my dick rise moments before I left for the interview. She was waiting for me at the apartment, babysitting AJ.

“Whether you get the job or not, it’s a huge accomplishment to get the interview,” she added, straightening my already straightened tie and rubbing her hands down the lapels of my suit. I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to press her against the wall and take her quickly to release the nervous energy, giving her gratitude for her faith in me. Her warm eyes and tender smile encouraged me that I could do anything.

The car stopped before my two-story walk-up, and I stood staring at the brown front door. How different this house was from the one I grew up in, one surrounded by five full acres and a sea of trees behind it. This skinny structure had more curb appeal than that flat ranch and all its space. I glanced up to my apartment and knew more love filled that second floor than the expanse of land owned by Robert Walker, my father. Today was a good day, and I smiled to myself in the crisp, cool air before heading up the steep stairs.

Katie sat on the floor, legs spread, with AJ sitting between them gnawing at a toy for his emerging teeth. Her hands moved before him as she signed the word cup and motioned with her hands the word for drink. She’d taken it upon herself to teach AJ sign language. He didn’t have an appointment until spring for cochlear implants, his surgery being near his first birthday. In the meantime, she claimed it wouldn’t hurt to teach him simple words for communication. I was instantly overwhelmed with the love this girl gave my child, so much more than his own mother, so much more than mine. She spun and caught me staring at the two of them.

“So?” Katie wiped her hands up the curve of her hips. I watched them swipe over her body and then clasp together. She was nervous for me, but her eyes remained hopeful. Too wide, and extra blue, they peered at me with support I didn’t deserve but very much wished to take.

“I don’t know anything yet. It was just an interview.”

“But an interview is good,” she said decisively.

I stepped toward her, squatted to the floor and cupped her cheek. Her face fell a little as her brows pinched, but I rubbed over the bone, counting each freckle on her nose. She had seventeen. I’d counted them one night while she slept. At seventeen years old, she kissed me, and it changed everything.

“Katie, if the offer still stands to go home with you for Thanksgiving, AJ and I would like to accept.”

“Yeah?” Her brows rose higher than I thought possible.

“Yes.” Leaning forward, I kissed her without another word, drawing in her breath, her touch, her kindness. I pressed flush against her and let my other arm wrap around her, taking her down to the floor before AJ. My mouth counted to seventeen. A kiss to one corner. Another nip to the other. The bottom lip. The top. I continued until I reached the number that matched her freckles that matched the age she stepped up to me and gave me a kiss. The age she gave me hope.

Be safe. I’m waiting, she had said. Little did she know, I’d been waiting for her too.