Page 55 of The History in Us

“You’re…” He paused, eyes shifting sideways. I sensed what he stopped himself from saying. Holding my head higher, I glared at him.

“I’m the one that wants a hero, right? I’m the one who likes fantasy. I’m the one who writes stupid stories.” My chest rose and fell with each statement, my heart racing within my ribcage.

“That’s not what I was going to say.” His eyes narrowed on me.

Suddenly, AJ cried out, and Levi gave me a dismissive wave. The moment he left the room to retrieve his son, I saw myself out of his apartment but instantly wanted to turn back. Instead, I walked with a heavy heart down the steep stairs and went home to my roommates.

* * *

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the mystery roommate,” Penelope snarked as I entered the apartment earlier than my typical time. Tuck watched me with concern in her eyes as I crossed the living room for my bedroom. I dropped my bag on the floor and flung myself across my bed. I didn’t know how to explain my feelings.

First, I blamed myself for wanting things from an unobtainable man. I was frustrated by my heart and overwhelmed by the constant desire in my body. I longed for his touch when we were separated. I treasured each stolen kiss before darkness fell and we could explore one another. Most hours we lived a secret—keeping our relationship hidden. But was it really a relationship? I’d never had one before and I didn’t understand. Where was the declaration of devotion? The commitment that said I’m only with you? Even a word that said I think of you often would reassure me I was on his mind as much as he was on mine.

Instead, our time was physical. Levi was a tactile person, and I loved the exploration of his body. I loved when he touched mine, but I needed more. I needed reassurance I wasn’t filling a void for him. There were too many words unsaid, and as a writer, I needed the words, I decided. This led my thoughts to what he did say. Stupid stories? Levi took for granted what he did have—the support of powerful people like Wayne and Anne. In addition, he was too busy blaming the universe, and Alicia, for what he didn’t always see as a blessing—AJ. He’d told me how he felt God punished him by giving him a child as retribution for the ones lost, but I saw it as redemption. He received AJ as a gift, to understand life was precious and he should enjoy it.

A soft knock came to my door, and I muttered into my pillow: “Come in.”

“Sugar, you all right?” I flipped onto my back to find Tuck standing inside the door.

“I’m not a very good roommate. I guess I haven’t really been around that much and you should have taken my room.”

“I like the other one. It has charm. Besides, you didn’t know this would happen when I first moved in.” She waved dismissively at me. I shook my head. No, no I certainly did not see Levi Walker coming. “What happened tonight?”

“We had a fight, I guess. I don’t even know. I just said too much, and he got mad. And then I got mad.” Tuck nodded in response, understanding on her face, but her expression slowly fell.

“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Her voice softened and something in her tone made me stare at her. Her eyes avoided mine, but the avoidance spoke volumes.

“No. No, Levi wouldn’t do that.” He might have fought battles, but he wasn’t a violent man. “Why?” She shook her head, dismissing my question, and I realized how little I knew of my newest roommate.

She pointed to my desk and a white envelope.

“Another message came for you. Penelope said they were yours. You have a secret admirer other than Levi?” Inflection rose in her tone, questioning the possibility.

I stood at my desk and opened the envelope.

K –

You’re the key. Unlock me.

̴ L

I stared at the words, knowing the note came too soon from the only-moments-ago fight. Plus, I recognized Levi’s handwriting enough to know this wasn’t his.

“You okay, Sugar?”

I sighed as I pressed the note to my chest. Tears welled in my eyes. For some reason, I suddenly missed my family.