Page 51 of The History in Us

“No, you don’t,” she replied sternly.

“Yes, I do.” I pulled back from her, kneeling on my heels between her thighs when her hand caught the waist of my jeans.

“No. You don’t.” Her tone softened, and she tugged at the waistband, sensing it was what I needed instead, and God help me, those wide blue eyes begged me to take her offer. She’d give me something else if I didn’t go for that drink.

“Katie,” I sighed, wiping a hand down my still damp face. “I can’t do this with you.” Her hand released my jeans instantly, but I was quicker. I caught her wrist and forced her hand to cover the zipper of my jeans. Drawing her palm over the length of me, a part that rapidly disagreed with my words, I forced her to touch me.

“Not like this, Katie. Not because you feel sorry for me.” My motions contradicted my statement. I continued to force her, leading her to stroke me, although the tendons of her fingers proved she had taken control. I remained kneeling, and she sat forward. Her fingers unbuttoned my jeans and I rose up to loosen the tight hold. Slipping her hands to my waist, she guided me to twist and lay back on the bed. Pushing my jeans to my thighs, she continued to stroke me over my boxers.

“We don’t have to do everything,” she whispered, her voice shaky despite the bold offer. Her palm continued to rub over soft cotton as I closed my eyes. She slipped over the waistband, circling the length of me, and I nearly jumped off the bed. Her palm was warm, her touch tender, almost too gentle. In many ways, I wanted it hard and fast, as a means to forget, but while my heart raced, I drew a deep breath and let her take control of me. She gently tugged, elongating the shaft before reaching lower and cupping my sensitive sac. I moaned her name, letting her slow exploration sooth me. Tension built in my toes. My hand came to the back of her head. Sensing what I wanted, she lowered and her mouth took me hesitantly. A kiss. A lick. A circling of the head before lips clamped over me, drawing me deep into her wet warmth. Fists clenched my sheets as she took her time to discover me with her mouth. I didn’t interrupt her clumsy climb. I didn’t stop her shallow sucking. I sank into the prickling sensation as the pressure built inch by tantalizing inch. And then she took me deep, and I hit the back of her throat. Unable to control myself, I held her head, dragging to her lips and pushing forward again. She whimpered, and I wished to stop but my hips bucked at the sound vibrating over hard, slick skin. I pulled back, but her mouth followed and her cheeks caved. The pressure undid me, and I came without warning.

“Katie,” I groaned, ready to apologize yet not wanting to seek forgiveness. What she’d done surprised me, and I didn’t want to give it back. I wanted to take and keep it for me. My eyes opened slowly as if from a drug-enhanced daze, and I found her wiping at her mouth. Fingers stroked back over her lips, fighting to hold in a smile.

Something about the spark in her eye prompted me to ask: “You’ve never done that before have you?” and she shook her head, biting the corner of her lip. I sat up so quickly, she fell back on her haunches.

“I was your first?” An octave cracked in my question.

“You always were,” she smiled slowly, and I instantly knew what she meant. I’d been her first kiss, all those years ago, and it made me wonder if I’d be her first for other things. That night definitely wasn’t the night for such a thing, if that were the case.

“Are you a virgin?” The question jumped out, and the subtle shake of her lowered head pinched at my heart. I’d embarrassed her, but damn it, I hated whoever had stolen that first from me.

“Stay with me, tonight. Just sleep.” My hands rubbed up and her down her chilled arms, and the smile she fought broke free.