Page 42 of The History in Us

“I am home,” he said, taking a hearty sip of hot soup. “Chicago is where I live. This is my home.” The definitive tone to his voice told me the discussion about Elk Rapids was finished. Moving on to other areas of mystery, I tried a different topic.

“I’ve been meaning to ask you about the letters.”

“What letters?” He swallowed hard, but I couldn’t decide if it was the soup or him playing coy.

“The ones you sent me. The invitation to the coffee shop, the one about the zoo, and the one about us and history.”

Levi stared at me in complete confusion. Coy was no longer an option. His eyes didn’t blink.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“The letters. The day after I babysat…and we…you know, you sent me a letter asking me to meet you at Alley Cat, the coffee house.”

Levi shook his head, blatantly dismissing the idea.

“That’s where you found me. Standing on the sidewalk before the zoo,” I added, my stomach suddenly dropping. Levi stared and set down his spoon.

“I wondered how you could be standing there, like you were waiting for me.”

“I was waiting for you,” I laughed awkwardly. I’d completely misunderstood, though. “But I guess it wasn’t you.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed. “So what you’re telling me is you were waiting for someone, but it wasn’t me?”

“I…” I didn’t know how to explain. “I thought the letter was from you. It said you wanted to apologize.”

Levi’s eyes twinkled and the curve of his mouth shot up to dimple wattage.

“I already told you, I wouldn’t apologize for kissing you.” I had to smile in return but it didn’t explain the mystery.

“Then I wonder…”

“Who sent you the note? Is there something you want to tell me? Someone else?”

“No,” I offered too emphatically. “No, definitely not.” Sidetracking myself, I picked up my own spoon and took a generous sip of soup. My skin already pink, the hot liquid only added to my heat and burned my throat. Reaching for my soda, I took a hearty drink before asking another question.

“What about you? What about Alicia?”

Levi’s mouth fell and his sandwich froze mid-air.

“Katie, this is supposed to be a date, so I don’t think we should talk about Alicia.” The harshness of his words startled me, and a clatter to my right forced my head to turn. The third-wheel to our date had flung a spoon off the tray of his highchair, reminding us both that Alicia lingered. Levi picked up the spoon but removed it from AJ’s grasp, scooping up soup for him with his own spoon instead.

“There is no Alicia.” His tone softened. “I haven’t spoken to her since the night you babysat. She’d been refusing to speak to me before that and was adamant about me not calling her again after we spoke that night. I haven’t tried to call again.”

“But you want to,” I interjected, the words tumbling out with false hope he’d deny it.

“I don’t want to deny AJ his mother, but it seems she isn’t interested in being part of his life.” He shrugged, his eyes avoiding mine.

I nodded without further comment. The answer wasn’t conclusive of his feelings about the mother of his child. He’d told me about Alicia’s behavior but not his personal attitude toward her. Levi was thoughtful a moment as he fed AJ.

“I think I thought I wanted Alicia back because she’s AJ’s mother. I thought we should give it a try, but I don’t know what ‘give it a try’ means when you don’t really love each other. Did it mean try to love one another?” He exhaled. “That just wasn’t going to happen and sticking together for only AJ seemed a little hopeless.”

I didn’t look up at him, but I was listening.

“There isn’t any Alicia or anyone else for that matter.”

I smiled weakly, twisting my lips to stifle the relief. He wasn’t promising me anything, but at least I wasn’t battling with his ex-girlfriend.

We finished the rest of the meal trying to regain a jovial vibe instead of the heavy weight of his brother, the letters, and Alicia. After dinner, we decided to walk the evening street. Fall was in full force, decorating each storefront with pumpkins and fake foliage in autumn colors. We hadn’t passed three stores before we encountered a book store. I was window shopping the gorgeous cover of the latest sexy romance read when Levi asked: “Want to go inside?”