Page 205 of Lose You Twice

At 11:00, I close every tab.

At 11:12, I reopen one.

By the time Mom comes home a little after one, I’ve managed to mentally diagnose myself, schedule imaginary surgery, destroy my future fertility, and ruin Kai’s life, all before I head to work.

An impressive feat, considering no doctor has spoken to me.

The front door opens, but I don’t move my eyes from my laptop until she enters the room.

Mom comes into the kitchen, carrying two grocery bags.

“Oh, hi, honey,” she says, setting the bags on the counter, smiling as if she doesn't know my world is internally crumbling brick by brick. “I didn’t think you’d be home. I grabbed paper plates for the girls’ party while I was out. Purple because apparently that’s the current theme, but I kept the receipt because God knows what they’ll decide by next⁠—”

“Can we not?”

She stops. I close my eyes.

“Sorry.”

Mom sets the bags down. “Not what?”

“Anything.” I rub my hands over my face. “Can we just not talk about the party right now?”

“Of course.”

That makes something inside me crack.

She looks at the laptop.

“How long have you been reading?”

“I did homework.”

“Wren.”

“They were reputable sources.”

“That wasn’t my question.”

My eyes burn.

“It looks like endometriosis.”

She pulls out the chair beside me. “I know the imaging, along with what you’ve been dealing with, raises that possibility, but we don’t know yet, Wren. Why don’t we try not to borrow tomorrow’s troubles today?”

“And it can cause infertility.”

Her brow furrows, confused as to why that’s my focus. “For some people, yes.”

“That doesn’t make it better.”

“I’m not trying to⁠—”

I run my fingers through my hair. “You keep doing that.”

Her brows pull together. “Doing what?”

“Talking to me like I’m one of your patients.”