Page 20 of Lose You Twice

“Where?”

I glance at the table.

The bowl is empty.

Daisy has pretzel dust on her cheeks.

Lily points at her. “We were starved.”

“I shared with myself,” Daisy says.

Justin closes his eyes. “How do two tiny humans eat so much?”

“I ask myself the same question about all of you, daily. Pasta’s on the stove,” I say. “Start on homework, and it’ll be done soon.”

He groans, but he gets his notebook out.

Holden comes in twenty minutes later, quieter than everyone else. He always is lately. Before Dad left, Holden used to fill rooms without trying. He was loud in this easy, careless way, all laughter and terrible impressions and music blasting from upstairs.

Now, he’s quiet. He feels guilt that he shouldn’t have to, and worries more than I want him to. It’s not his fault our father decided to hop dick first into some other woman's bed while Mom was at home taking care of the twins alone.

I hate Dad for a lot of things.

The change he caused in Holden is at the tippy top.

“How was practice?” I ask.

“Fine.” Holden drops his keys into the little bowl by the door.

“You hungry? Is Parker not coming in today?”

“Yeah, I could eat. Parker is going to dinner with his mom, so he just dropped me off and headed out.”

“Gotcha. Dinner will be ready in ten if you want to wash up.”

“Need help?”

I almost say no automatically.

It’s right there on my tongue, polished from overuse, but Holden is already looking at me like he knows, and I am suddenly too tired to lie with full conviction.

“Can you make sure the twins finish their packets and then help them set the table?” I ask.

His face softens, just a little. “Yeah.”

Lily immediately sits straighter. “I don’t need help.”

Holden pulls out the chair beside her. “That’s good. That means you can help me, ’cause I don’t quite remember how to set the table the right way.”

That works because Lily Calloway was born to manage people.

By 6:12, everyone is fed.

By 6:40, Justin has remembered he needs a poster board for a project due Friday.

By 6:41, I have decided poster board is a scam invented by teachers who hate families.

By 7:05, Daisy is crying because she can’t find the tiny plastic cat that sleeps under her pillow, even though it is very clearly in her sweatshirt pocket.