Page 116 of Lose You Twice

It was easier when I didn’t know she still had my shirt.

It was easier when I hadn’t woken up with her against my chest and felt, for one dangerous second, like I’d gotten something back.

Now she’s everywhere.

My rink. My locker room. My apartment through Harlow. My truck memories. Her kitchen. The school drop-off line. A service hall that smells like detergent and now somehow like the exact place my self-control gave out.

I laugh once, quiet and humorless.

Pathetic.

There’s no better word for it.

I am fully, completely pathetic over Wren Calloway, and the worst part is, I don’t even want to fix it.

When we finally make it back from the bar, Harlow is curled up on our couch.

She looks up as we walk in. “You’re alive.”

“It’s not that late, and Weston was on the verge of a hangry breakdown. I’ll be right back,” Grayson says as he walks over, placing a quick kiss on her forehead before heading down the hall to put his stuff in his room.

Then Harlow says, “So.”

I sigh, setting my bag on one of the stools and reorganizing the few things sitting on my counter. “Nope. We are not doing this right now. Last thing I need is an interrogation tonight.”

Harlow feigns innocence, shrugging. “Just sisterly concern.”

“Same thing.”

Grayson comes back into the living room, joining Harlow on the couch. “I told you he wouldn’t cooperate.”

I look at him. “Traitor.”

Grabbing a water from the counter, I head down the hall to my room. “I’m going to shower.”

“Kai.”

I stop halfway down the hall, turning back toward her.

She studies me with the same eyes she’s always had that seemed to see right through any front I put up.

“Just don’t hurt her,” she says.

That’s the very last thing I’d ever want. “I’m trying not to.”

“I know.” Her face softens. “But make sure you don’t hurt yourself, either.”

Grayson looks away, giving us that much privacy.

I nod once.

It’s all I’ve got.

In the shower, I stand under hot water until the mirror fogs, and my skin turns red. It doesn’t help. I still feel her hands in my shirt. Her mouth under mine. The moment she said kiss me like it cost her something and gave me everything at the same time.

Once I finally crawl into bed, my mind can’t stop replaying what happened earlier.

She told me to kiss her, and I listened. I wanted to regardless, but hearing her say those words broke whatever tiny shred of restraint that I had left.