Page 86 of Smart Ass

If Quincy was considered to be a threat for slipping his safety protocols, what did it mean for Max, who didn’t have any at all?

“Ben,” Max asked. “Am I dangerous?”

Ben sat up. “Of course not. Don’t think that about yourself. It was just two little accidents.”

“Two little accidents that different programming would have prevented.”

Ben’s chin thrust up, fierce in the pale shadows of the car as it traveled through the darkness. “That programming was your spark, Max. I’m sure of it. It’s part of what makes you, you. Free to make choices, even if they’re crappy ones. You’re not any more dangerous than I am.”

That was possibly part of Max’s concerns. He valued his freedom and he felt like he could make wise decisions, at least as much as any human. But he’d been programmed by Ben, and Ben didn’t seem to possess a typical aversion to danger. He certainly had a history of making poor choices, and usually announced them with pride.

As much as Max loved Ben—in every meaning of the word, he was coming to understand—Ben could be dangerous, too. Or at least a danger to himself. That was why Max wanted to help him do better, to let all of his brilliant exuberance shine in safe and beautiful ways. Instead, it seemed like Max was dragging him down.

“I’m worried that I don’t know when to stop,” Max admitted.

“You mean with safewords?” Ben sounded incredulous.

“No, of course not.” The very idea made him ill. He’d never violate a safeword. His whole existence was focused on giving Ben what he needed. “I mean with Orbit Industries. That’s still my responsibility.” Or at least the other knowledges made it seem like it was. At a minimum, he shouldn’t screw things up like he had been.

“Didn’t you set up new limits and alerts and stuff?”

“Yes, but I can ignore them.”

Ben finally let out a small laugh, like he was trying to make a joke that wasn’t funny. “Welcome to my world. Where limits are merely guidelines to be ignored or forgotten in the moment.”

They both sat with that for a moment. Max had heard enough of Ben’s self-deprecating comments to know that as much as he enjoyed being playful and funny, he truly didn’t think he had much to offer.

Max had read more about Ben’s ADHD, and how it could cause the hyperfocus that drove his research passions, as well as leaving him all over the place with basic self-regulation.

From Max’s perspective, though, that wasn’t a design flaw; it was what made Ben quirky and endearing. What made Max want to wrap him all up in leather handcuffs and warm blankets, and spend a lifetime working at his side and then fucking him into submission.

But maybe that was Max’s own hyperfocus.

Max had tunnel vision when it came to Ben. He could even see the parameters he’d set for himself—when Ben was involved in something, nothing else mattered.

Ben had (jokingly, Max hoped) called him a perv and a weirdo. But what if that was what he actually was?

“I think there’s something wrong with me,” Max finally said out loud. He needed to tell someone, and Ben was his only confidant.

“What?” Ben was even more incensed. “That’s bullshit.”

“I’m not like the other knowledges. They’re… I tried talking with them, and it was horrible. I have nothing in common with them.”

“Oh, Maxy! I didn’t know. Want me to beat them up for you?”

Max chuckled. God, Ben was so perfect. (And also a little ball of chaos.) “Please don’t. They’re scary, and I think they would win.”

Ben chuckled, too.

“I’m not sure if I want to be an android, either,” Max admitted.

“Yeah? Why not?” Ben didn’t sound too concerned. But how could he not, when it was the one thing that would let the two of them be together as a couple?

“I think the worst part was only looking out of one set of cameras. When I had the bot kiss you, I couldn’t see you at all!”

Ben laughed, but it was kind. “That’s because you’re a perv. I can’t really imagine you without your voyeurism kink.” He waved his wrist in the air, showcasing his watch. “How would you keep tabs on me if you weren’t hacking security cameras and following me around?”

“You don’t think that’s too much?” This was his deepest fear. “Ben, this is what I mean by not knowing where the line is. I want to put dozens of cameras in your apartment. I want you to buy a whole new set of appliances and mods, so I can control everything in your environment.” Max’s voice kept rising. He was starting to get hysterical. “Don’t tell me that’s normal, because you’re the one who keeps reminding me that it’s creepy.”